Sliding Scale/Erratum, Two Months, Questions

I'm feeling full of words and lost for words. I finished and sent in my packet that was due the day after my last post. Relief followed, and hot on its heels a bunch of second-guessing, worrying that this or that piece was too long or too short or no good--all the standard stuff! Finding a way to remain in the writerly furrow and simultaneously work in the upcoming work deadlines is a deliciously acute challenge. Phil and I have been hiking the various beaches around town every day. When we first got back, that felt like good exercise and part of an obligation to spend time with Phil. Now, I'm loving the hiking and glad for the spending time with Phil part. There's a chance of snow in the forecast as early as next week.

Two months since getting out of treatment, I said. Apparently it bears repeating. There are some things to be said about it. I tell everyone and myself that I'm doing pretty well, but I've also fallen through a couple of trapdoors. I call them trapdoors, because they seem to go mostly one way--harder to crawl back up! Let's just say there's a certain degree to which I push myself that one isn't able to even approach in treatment, beyond which it's continuously easier to 'go there.' On the other hand, I'm taking my meds very consistently, which I wasn't pre-treatment with many disastrous consequences, and the positive changes brought about by that deserve a post all of their own, if it seems right to do so.

Yes, I'm very unsure about what it is right to post about at this point.

An erratum on my post about daily weigh-ins and the enormous fluctuations that seemed normal:- Turns out, those fluctuations were accented by the fact that I had the scale stashed under our tiny desk and was sliding it out between desk and chair where the floor isn't level and there's barely room for it to sit or me to stand! Since I moved its resting spot to under the fridge, whence I can slide it out and set it on a level surface, I have noted a far smaller fluctuation, although it still does fluctuate. This made me laugh at myself; also cautioned me to guard against panicking about fluctuations since the period of that wave now seems to be smaller. In some ways it makes the whole numerical tyranny seem very ridiculous.

Sliding scale is a funny play on words here, but it got me thinking about how many ways it's applicable in my current situation. 
Being fully in the groove of writing--vs--letting days go by in chores and social obligations and getting no writing in #"unmilked cow". 
Talking to no one all day--vs--talking until my throat hurts
Following my 'meal plan' 100% (have I ever?)--vs--eating almost nothing.
Allowing my appetite to emerge and embracing it--vs--still manipulating it.
Being totally uninterested in food and swearing off preparing for myself any other than the most basic (saving that exclusively for making food for others--vs--reading recipes as if they were novels (something I thought I'd entirely outgrown) and making four or five different Ela-friendly creations in a single afternoon.
Considering myself in the midst of a "process"--vs--thinking I'm out of treatment so we're all good now. 
OR--somewhere in between ??? 

How to write my blog--to change it altogether, to make some subtle changes, what to do?... 
It's essential in my life and valuable in the life of others--vs--it's narcissistic and I should channel my creative writing differently...
That's not so much a 'somewhere in between'-type situation.

This may be partly being a bipolar person, but it's surely partly just being a person, and it is a rocking backward and forward toward settling, like the ball rolling around the rim before dropping into the basket. Perhaps I'll always rock back and forth.

Am I being too indirect?

Looking for some answers, whether they agree or not. I'll take more questions too, if you have 'em.