Contrarian New Year; Captchas are Back

A herd of four moose was inside the fence made of fishing net Phil had built to keep them out. They were chowing down on our birches and rowans we'd wished to protect. 
And there I was with my new iPhone in the 3.30pm dusk, trying to figure out how to take pictures.

New iPhone and its camera for easy transfer to the blog. 
At a time when I'm seriously considering moving the blog to a no-photo format. Blog evolution is coming--I've been mentioning it for so long, soon must be when.

One of the biggest moose I've ever seen--running up and hollering was just stupidity.
But I scared off both her and the rest of the herd by banging metal on metal.

Everything's contrary.
You all know I think New Year's is arbitrary.
And yet I take advantage of the collective renewal energy to set some intentions.
But this year, I haven't in any clear way. Murky waters between my own recent brain chemistry roller-coaster and huger uncertainty over who/where/what/how I am.

I, who work and am in school, frequently at the mercy of time, tide, and inclination of incredibly spontaneous and outward-looking person whose utter freedom means "When are we leaving for town?" can receive only a provisional answer.
I, who have never been late in my life, suddenly the one who's never quite ready on time (but have still never been late to my own appointments, let it be noted).
Moving apart, deliberately and mutually; finding myself object of increased desire; pushing away, pulled back like on a dance floor to a song whose rhythm I can't parse. 
Who have never thought myself desirable; who sometimes wonders whether all the craziness and restriction are protections from desirability.

Who is doing a cleanse and "apples-sparingly" diet now, along with most of the rest of the country, probably, but contrary to implicit and explicit direction. 
And feeling better for it, in the aftermath of some scary stuff with fluid fluctuations, apparently around an ovarian cyst. 
(Don't worry, this is a short term thing. I have the Lithium tether to discourage losing weight.)

One Final Thing:
At some point last spring, I turned off the Captchas for my comments, after someone complained of how hard they are, and having had the experience myself commenting on others' blogs.
As of today, the Captchas are back on again. I am receiving so many spam comments--probably ten times as many as genuine comments. (Since my blog is tiny, those numbers are not awful, but it's become a major  time issue deleting all of them.) Lately, in my experience, the Captchas haven't been so bad. I hope this won't discourage you from leaving your thoughts, which I always love to hear.

Just as I'm reactivating the Captchas on the blog, so I endeavor to reactivate them psychically. I tend to let everything in and get knocked around from one idea to the next so that I'm in constant Brownian motion and never settled in a space.
Wish me luck.