Other Implies Another

A week since I've posted.
I've been other in one way, other in another way.
Good Orderly Direction. Abject chaos.

Helping others' creativity pushing me toward clarity regarding my own and its importance.

A day in the ER.

A party.
Hikes on the beach--
In order to spill from fill, must be empty first.
I emptied my pockets, feeling myself bound to the ground by the bones of the earth.
See how many of them are somewhat heart-shaped? See how many contain holes?

And au randonee on snowshoes around here on higher ground, the bones of winter. A baby moose, perhaps.

Meanwhile, this isn't supposed to be a good photo, but there were two moose, not just this one, outside the library this morning--smart moose to come down to sea level where things are threatening to grow.

I'm still having periodic dry heaves from the castor oil I made myself drink for some supposed food indiscretion three days ago. Up-thrusting energy like new plants--if I go abstract enough I can make it positive. Except that...hmhm...

I translated a hundred dictionary entries today all having to do with the concept of  "otherness." (And a bonus dozen over lunch to do with "heaps.") "Other" is different is more is less is parts of a whole is past is future is alien is heretical, abnormal, bad-tasting, somewhere else, special, foreign, hostile, divergent from the norm, less, less...

How much needs to be stripped away for radiance to enter, for light to shine through?
Breakfast in treatment last year: two packets instant oatmeal, with a whole bunch of other stuff (soy yogurt, nuts, shredded coconut, soy milk, fruit juice, raisins), and a cup of coconut cream. And more coconut cream if didn't finish all within 30 minutes.
Pumpkin is so good with oatmeal. With half a packet of instant oatmeal and maybe some coconut cream.
Pumpkin is so good with two tablespoons of instant oatmeal and a teaspoon of psyllium, and lots of liquid and maybe some coconut cream. With one tablespoon of oatmeal and half the amount of pumpkin. Etc.
A teaspoon of psyllium is so good with the pumpkin spices, lots of liquid and really some of that coconut cream.
One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so.
Other begat one.

Open my lips to speak praise--it's not what goes in but what comes out that matters.
See the luminosity through those rocks and bones.

Avocado Pie: Raw, Low-Sugar, Vegan

It's Monday, so it should be a "Fifty First Weeks" post again. That little theme fell by the wayside during April, as so many of my series seem to. What is this a "first week" of? On the down side, it feels like first week of "crash." But it could also be first week of preparing bucket list for life after semester. Here we go a-grading...


As promised yesterday, here is the Avocado Pie recipe, rawified and created without reliance on a high-powered blender, and with an attempt to give options that don't depend too much on hard-to-find ingredients. I also promised some thoughts soon about increasing calories: in this post, there will be many examples of how to reduce calories while keeping nutrient levels high. I'll start with the original recipe, then explain what I did, step-by-step, and finally give a summary of the whole thing (below the picture of Leslie).

Here's Lynn's original recipe for Avocado Pie:

Crust:
1 1/2 cups finely chopped pecans
1/2 cup shredded dried coconut (sweetened or not)
1/4 cup melted butter
Mix with fingers and press into (9in) pie pan. Bake at 375 until edges are slightly brown. Cool.


Filling:
2 large ripe avocados
2 cans sweetened condensed milk
Juice of 2 lemons
Mix in Cuisinart until smooth. Pour into (cooled) crust. Freeze.


Topping:
Whip 1 cup whipping cream and flavor with vanilla. Spread on top of filling and sprinkle with grated pecans. Freeze until firm.

What I needed to do to adapt this

Since this pie has an unbaked filling and a nut-based crust, it was quite straightforward to "rawify." Most raw pie crusts are nut-based anyway. For this particular occasion, I chose to bake the crust lightly, to preserve that browned look. I used the same proportions of pecans and shredded coconut, but used palm shortening instead of butter. Coconut oil or coconut butter would have worked fine too. 

To make the crust completely raw: Simply don't put it in the oven and leave raw! Or, if you want that toasted flavor, put it in a dehydrator on 115 for several hours; in your oven at its lowest temperature if you don't have a dehydrator. One more tip: if you want that toasted flavor without toasting it, add a little good quality salt to the crust mix.

Most raw pie fillings are based on a combination of soaked cashews, almond milk, coconut oil, sweetener (often agave nectar (which I will never use)), lecithin, and fruits or other flavorings. I will give directions for a cashew-based adaptation of this pie as well, but hey, avocados are plenty calorie dense all by themselves! I wanted to make a filling that was less calorie dense than pureed avocado, not more so! Therefore, I used irish moss and unsweetened almond milk to make a raw, vegan version of sweetened condensed milk. I used low-and no-glycemic sweeteners, since an avocado-based pie would be ideal for those avoiding sugar. 

Avocados are wonderfully nutrient dense, but if they're combined with a whole bunch of nuts, coconut oil and sugars, even if said nuts, coconut oil and sugars are nutrient dense in their own right, I feel you end up with too many calories per bite and are more likely to feel uncomfortable after enjoying. So I think it's a blessing that I can make a delicious pie filling based on avocado without having to add a whole lot of extra fat and sugar calories to make it delicious.

I'm so impressed: my immersion blender was capable of making irish moss gel too! I kind of suspected that was a Vita-mix task. I did chop the soaked irish moss up before blending, to help it out.

Sub-recipe: raw vegan sweetened condensed milk  (low-fat, low sugar, with substitution options)

1 cup unsweetened almond milk (if you use homemade, it'll likely be creamier and higher-fat)(here are some homemade nut milk recipes)

1/3 cup prepared irish moss gel (see below)

1/4 cup erythritol

1/4 cup coconut sugar (gives it that yellowish sweetened condensed milk color)

1 tablespoon lecithin

1 teaspoon xanthan gum

1/2 teapoon white stevia powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

Blend all together until smooth

To make the irish moss gel, soak a handful of irish moss seaweed in several changes of water until the seaweed expands in size and the water thickens up a little.

Roughly chop the moss, and blend it with as little of the soak water as possible, adding a quarter teaspoon of vanilla powder and a third cup of erythritol.

Here's how it looks:

Note: if you don't need it sugar free, use agave nectar, coconut nectar, maple syrup, raw honey, evaporated cane juice, or whatever sweetener you prefer instead of the erythritol. On the other hand, if you want the "sweetened condensed milk" completely sugar free, omit the coconut sugar and use more erythritol or stevia, or yacon syrup, to taste.

Here's the "sweetened condensed milk"--a nice, thick texture as you'd need for a pie filling, with no extra fat from cashews or coconut oil!

If you want a fattier version, instead of the irish moss gel, blend the almond milk with a third cup soaked cashews (or a quarter cup cashew butter) and two tablespoons coconut oil.

If you want a lower fat version but don't have irish moss, you could either double the amount of xanthan gum, or use two tablespoons ground psyllium husks (probably not the best option), or you could gently heat the almond milk and blend in a tablespoon of agar powder, which should thicken it similarly to the irish moss.

With the sweetened condensed milk substitute all made, blending in two avocados and the juice of two lemons was easy raw synergy!

I had to use a saucepan to blend all the filling--the beaker in which I made the sweetened condensed milk substitute was too small!


I poured the filling into the cooled, aromatic crust, and put it in the freezer for a couple hours.


Meanwhile, I pulled out of the freezer some leftover "lemon cashew cream cheese" frosting from our anniversary cake (the recipe is about two-thirds down the page), and just before we left for the party, I decorated the pie with the frosting.


My decoration skills weren't great, and with the sun shining in my photography skills were worse, but hopefully you get the idea.

I was a little concerned about showing up to the party with an unasked-for dessert, but as it turned out, the party was missing a dessert to be Leslie's birthday cake, so everything worked out perfectly! I love it when that happens.

So, in Summary--Avocado Pie Another Way!

Crust:

1 1/2 cup pecans, finely chopped

1/2 cup unsweetened shredded coconut

1/4 cup palm shortening (or coconut oil, or coconut butter)

1/2 teaspoon good quality salt

1 tablespoon water if necessary

Mix all together with fingers; press into a 9-in pie pan. Bake at 375 for 20 mins, or dehydrate for several hours, or leave as is.

Set aside to chill.

Filling:

2 ripe avocados

Juice of two lemons

1 1/2 cups homemade raw sweetened condensed milk:

Raw sweetened condensed milk:

1 cup almond milk

1/3 cup irish moss gel (made with vanilla and erythritol)

1/4 cup erythritol

1/4 cup coconut sugar

1 tablespoon lecithin

1 teaspoon xanthan gum

1/2 teaspoon white stevia powder

1/2 teaspoon good quality salt

Blend all together until smooth. Pour into cooled pie crust. Freeze until firm.

Raw Whipped Topping: Recipe is here.

You could either cover the whole pie with the topping, or blob it on as I did (I'm sure anyone else could do that more elegantly!) --I think it's nice to have some of that beautiful green showing.

Please let me know if anything isn't clear--there were a lot of steps in that process and lots of thoughts along the way, but the outcome is really quite simple!

Nutrient density and caloric density in desserts--your thoughts?

Prompt Housekeeping! And Cosying Up to Fat HAWMC #23

^ Another fun ambiguous title! If you could see the mess that is my house, though, you'd know what a big joke "prompt housekeeping" is around here too!


But on this "anything goes" HAWMC day, I want to share some updates on how the prompts and my responses to them have helped me in my life.


First, though, can I get a "YAY"?! Last night, I sent in my eighth and final "packet" of my first year MFA to my mentor! This was an ambitious packet, including a Sonnet Crown and an intense 24-page personal essay (covering some of the health-related stuff we're talking about this month, amongst other things), and my critical papers each compassed not one but two collections by the authors in question. When I went to bed having sent it all off, my saying "I write with my ears" came back to me, as I lay awake listening to various phrases and stanzas from the essays and poems I'd just sent off playing back in my head. That's one big obligation accomplished--and I'm so looking forward to writing and reading more, addressing those piles of needy poem drafts.


At the beginning of last week, I was a mess. I was afraid to go to my writers groups on Monday and Tuesday--afraid that something ugly would spill out of me. Well, thanks to a couple of the prompts on here, I came home from the Monday night group feeling much better. On the thirty-minute walk to that meeting, I realized I was singing rembetika songs by Vasilis Tzitzannis. I love that music, but it has a strong association with a very dark time in my life. I changed channel--to my theme song! I was sorry not to have made up my own song, but love that I reconnected with this happy Hebrew children's song that could be construed as a metaphor for my own crazy whirlings. So yes, I walked on down to town singing "Uga uga uuga" to myself--lucky it's a small town and no one else was on the street! And I felt lighter-spirited when I arrived at the meeting than if I'd been singing "periplanomenos, distichismenos..." (wandering far from home, out of luck...) all the way there.


I also took my fluffy duster with me to the meeting and clutched it the whole time. That helped, too.

Cosying up to Fat

Although I'm sorry it worried a few people, my "crisis" post was an opportunity to be frank and open about a difficult subject that I've been very tempted to dodge and soft-pedal. It's harder to do that when people you care about are affected by concern--but I still seem capable of dodging! That said, let's be glad for small successes. I haven't doubled my food intake yet, but I am eating significantly more.

I've also chosen to think of this situation as an opportunity to figure out my ideal macronutrient ratios, since I'm working pretty much from the ground up. For whatever it's worth, whenever I do "body-typing" tests, whether they be ayurvedic, adrenal, slow/fast oxidizer, or whatever else, I always test out as someone who would do better with more fat in the diet, protein too. The first time my Naturopath laid eyes on me two years ago (when I'd lost too much weight, but in reference to my bloodwork rather than my appearance), he said "you need to eat more fat--protein too, but fat. Fat." I know from my brutal low-carb stint that this does not mean don't eat carbs at all... On the other hand, what do I always end up eating? CARBS--mostly non-starchy veggies, making up the difference with fruit and starchy veggies; dried fruit for a quick fix. What am I phobic of? FAT! And what do I have trouble digesting, except for spirulina/chlorella? Protein...

So, I've invited myself to cosy up to fat, bearing in mind its greater caloric density. As hard as I'm finding it to increase caloric intake, if I can add in some fat, thereby adding calories with little volume, that might work well. The trouble with this is that the only fats I'm comfortable eating are coconut and flax/chia/hemp. And last time around, when I first started with my Naturopath, I ate a lot of coconut oil, not as much as he wanted me to, but way lots for my body, mostly in recipes like this mint chocolate bark, which also included nuts and seeds. I wasn't eating a lot of calories overall, but eating these kinds of thing every day, I gained much more weight than was comfortable for me, which ultimately led me back to where I am now. Amber was talking about coconut on her blog recently, and I expressed my frustration at having gained so much weight eating it a couple years ago when everyone always says it's impossible to gain weight on. We agreed that it was possibly due to the lack of fiber in the straight oil (plus my serpentine metabolism). So this time around, I'm going for more fibrous versions of coconut!

Yesterday's breakfast was carrot 'slaw with the addition of a couple grams of shredded coconut--chewy, coconutty, add cardamom--yummy!

 Today's breakfast was shredded jicama with a little nut milk (1/4 cup unsweetened almond breeze, which really doesn't have many almonds in it!), with a couple grams shredded coconut, a teaspoon of maca, and a few cacao nibs. Since I think maca and coconut are such a delicious combination, I added a couple drops of medicine flower coconut flavor extract also. Also yummy!

Coconut butter, aka creamed coconut, aka coconut spread, also has all the fiber intact! I mentioned that this is one way you can get it...

You can also simply make it yourself in the food processor or vitamix from shredded coconut, just like making any other nut butter! But yesterday, I opened my jar of Wilderness Family's version, and measured out a careful teaspoonful to add to my spirulina smoothie!

After my train wreck day last week, I also pulled out my algae oil DHA/EPA supplement. I recognize that a good omega-3 profile is positively correlated with good brain function--good mental health and mood balance too, for that matter. I haven't been eating much flax/chia/hemp at all lately, so it seemed a good idea to start on that supplement again. It tastes disgusting, but I think I've been functioning better since then.

Are YOU cosy with fat?

Peppermint Coconut Mounds

As promised yesterday, I think I have a moment to slide in this Christmassy, minty recipe. I love recipes with a simple ratio and few ingredients: easy to remember, easy to replicate.

And very enticing to look at.

My good angel coated them with carob-chocolate; my bad angel coated them with full cacao chocolate. My good angel said, "Come on, it's time to get off the "uppers" train. Peppermint is an awesome match for carob anyway, people might enjoy it. And you've already made "mainstream" peppermint fondants." My bad angel said, "Let's keep riding the high through the holidays. I'll really enjoy it more if I can share." My good angel sighed and remembered that with any regular chocolate consumption, other things start to happen besides the sleepless hyperactivity. Itching.

Back to the recipe, to which both angels give their blessing:
Peppermint Coconut Mounds (raw, vegan, low sugar)
1/2 cup coconut butter (not oil), melted
1 cup shredded coconut
2 tablespoons coconut nectar
2 tablespoons xylitol
1 teaspoon peppermint extract
pinch vanilla powder
pinch salt

Stir the shredded coconut into the melted coconut butter. Mix in the coconut nectar, peppermint, vanilla, xylitol and salt, and stir together very well.

Let stand for a minute to let firm up (in our home, this just means don't stir it for a moment, but if your home is warmer, you may need to refrigerate for 20 minutes).

Form into balls, or whatever shape you prefer, and then dip in melted chocolate, or melted carob chocolate, depending on which angel is blessing you at that time.

Happy, peaceful holidays to you all, and may the angels be with you.