Term's over, pressure's off, but things are not easy here. There has been some sweetness too, though, so let me start with that before I get to the bitter part.
The Sweet
Mother's Day brunch yesterday, and Leslie has chicks!
Getting right into the spirit, both Leslie and Roxy have chicken outfits--super sweet (and silly)!
Medjools are the only dates in the stores up here (except for the occasional pitted deglets, which are steamed, so I don't buy them--a shame, as I love deglets). I've mentioned before that I don't care for medjools--they're the modern-day-agricultural version of dates, super big, super sweet, less minerals, more sugar. So, when I saw that Shields Date Garden was having a sale on some of my favorite varieties of heritage dates, I went overboard and ordered up fifteen pounds of each! That should last a couple years...
Barhis were everyone's favorite in the raw food community in CA when I lived there, and were very hard to get because they always sold out so fast. What a treat to have an abundance of them. Abadas--I love how they're black and shiny--anything that color must be high in minerals. Abada is the name of a branch of my family, so I feel even more connected with them.
And how did I make that marzipan stuffing, you ask? Easy--
2 tablespoons raw almond butter, softened
1 tablespoon raw coconut butter, softened
1/2 tablespoon almond extract
1 tablespoon powdered xylitol
Stir all together and stuff into pitted dates!
Given my excitement to share these wonderful less-usual varieties of date, it took the wind out of my sails a bit when pretty much everyone at the party said they preferred medjools. I wish my moral judgment against medjools as agriculturally processed/demineralized/oversized/oversugared didn't interfere with my reception of other people's taste preferences--I try not to let it do so. Mostly, I was disappointed that everyone else wasn't as excited as I was about the other varieties of date! But medjools are the prototypical, generic date for most Americans, so I shouldn't have been surprised at the reaction of "Dates? Medjools!"
Whoa there, a little bitterness creeping into the sweet section!
I guess I'll call it a transition...
The Bitter
Teaching-done. MFA coursework-done. RWW thesis editing-done. And now three different experts and my bloodwork say time to cash in. No way! Not NOW!!
Perhaps that sounds playful, as several people "liked" my status. But things are not easy here. The huge pressure of work of the last months has lifted, but I have a mountain to climb. I went into my naturopath appointment on Friday angry at all the drama and scaremongering people were doing about my health status.
My naturopath, whom I love and trust, and was expecting to back me up that there was no need for the drama, had my bloodwork in his hand, and told me he was sorry, but he agreed with everyone else.
I feel like the elephant in the room.
So, now what?
Here's what it looks like today.
I'm on my third day off caffeine, though, trucking through the headache and the unmasked fatigue. That's a good thing.
We're "exploring options," but I'm facing having to miss out on a lot of things I'd rather be here for--in order that I may be here long term, they say. I still don't think the situation is that serious. They say that's part of why it is serious. Bitter, bitter.
