Starch Hurrahs, New Exercise Equipment, Cherry-Almond Smoothie

I hope everyone's having a great weekend. We seem to be perpetually busy right now, and I can't blame the full moon! I can blame these Anchorage trips: we're getting ready to take off again and all the back-and-forth is unsettling. Hopefully after this week, we can start going less frequently.

I've been promising to share my experiences around trying out eating more starch and cutting out PUFAs. I'll talk about the latter next week, but am ready to talk about the starches! As I mentioned before, I felt that I had good reasons for being Carbophobic, between celiac/gluten allergy and the difficulties that I've experienced digesting starch on many occasions, as well as all the claims that equate starch with sugar in the body.

Although I still have to go through candida clearout when I finish with chelating, my sense is that I'm far less rife with yeastie-beasties than I was a year ago. Far fewer yeasty symptoms, and whereas last summer, even yams and beets would upset my stomach, lately they have been my great friends--yams and parsnips especially. And my ND says that I'll still be able to eat those even when cleansing candida.

 I'm not eating a huge amount of it, but am eating some every day, usually at dinner. I'd been tackling the mental portion of Carbophobia by reading a lot of research showing that starch (as opposed to sugar) is good for our bodies. This is per rule #5 in my conversation about ground rules for nutritional research: I'd sucked in a lot of why starch was bad, and come to find out, there was plenty of research showing the opposite was the case!

But here's the gold/paydirt: I just got through my 11th cycle of chelating, eating some starch every day, and had been eating some every day the week before, and I wasn't constipated at all! This was a hallelujah event (and I'm sorry if it's tmi). I'd had the ample experience of ten previous chelation cycles, and in every instance, constipation was one of several major discomforts. It is also one of long-term results of my 'bad and ugly' years of self-mistreatment, and I'd pretty much resigned myself to having to control it with high doses of Magnesium for the rest of my life. Can't take Magnesium during chelation, hence the problem. This last time, no problem at all! I was caught between wanting to sing hallelujah all day every day and not wanting to breathe a word and jinx it!

This feedback from my body is a wonderful gift in two ways at least:
1) It's the first sign I've had in years that my body knows what she's doing and can come back into balance. I've always believed in the self-healing and homeostatic powers of bodies, just not of my own body.
2) It feels so liberating to relax on demonized foods: to think of foods like yams and even bananas as 'good for me' rather than 'something I shouldn't be eating.'

And so, I share a smoothie that made me so happy, I've had to repeat it.

 It's: 1cup almond or coconut milk
        half a frozen banana
        half a cup of frozen cherries
        a handful of greens (this one had cilantro but I couldn't taste it)
        a couple tablespoons irish moss gel
       half a teaspoon sunflower lecithin (tastes gross by itself but is a great emulsifier)
       vanilla
       half a teaspoon almond extract
       spoonful of spirulina
       half a teaspoon of yacon syrup
       bit of coconut oil (it's solid up here, so I just put in a little chunk.)
       dusting of stevia powder
Perhaps it's since I made that marzipan, but the richly cyanided blend of almond and cherry flavors just melts me and delights me. So good! One time I made it with leftover baked yam in place of the banana--and then found that Lori had done something quite similar. I'm also seeing myself heading in a similar culinary direction to the wonderfully talented Pure2Raw ladies: nourishing and delectable combinations of cooked starches with lots of raw food all around.

Of course, per rule #4, I'm not making any long-term conclusions yet, but this feedback that my body can learn to function unassisted is just entrancing. If it can do that, maybe my metabolism can normalize too, and, and.... :)

Moving on to exercise equipment. I love to be outdoors but my work involves being indoors, and sometimes even stubborn old me is deterred by icy winds and sideways snow. I love rebounders and finally bought one recently. The challenge, even with a piece of equipment so small, is how to fit it in our little space!

Here's Phil figuring it out...

It hangs above our heads like a dorky sun-negative with little feet, when not in use. When I want to use it, I unclip the rope and down it comes (easy now!).

I bounce away. It's a blurred pic but you can see I'm smiling!

And yes, it's pretty cold in here, so I'm wearing my hat and heavy booties. Much of what I've been reading about exercise lately is suggesting that short, intense bursts of exercise are the way to go. Having those super-heavy feet is one way of ensuring that I'm gasping and panting and ready to stop after a short but fun bounce.

The pulley is strong enough to support my weight, so I can also hang onto the rope and work my upper body while bouncing. Super-tiring. Phil is a genius!

Do you like exercise that makes you feel like a kid?
What's the best validation you've had from your body recently?

Static and Momentous Fears, Changes and a Raw Pea Soup Recipe

When you're on a rollercoaster, you stay on and ride it out, even when it takes a sharp turn or a plunge that you wish wasn't there. You have no choice. Similarly, when you're driving icy roads in the black of an Alaskan winter night, no moon, no light except for occasional blinding oncoming headlights, and you can't see where the road goes, you simply trust to the motion and keep on going, riding the road, riding your momentum, riding your fear. And then, you get out on the practice arena and confront your fear, evoke that sick pit-of-stomach squirmishness and show yourself that this can be survived.

These are fears that take a grip as the situation is flying by out of control and at speed. The situation offers its own momentum that you can catch hold of and ride out. If you're simply letting the momentum take you, even a hike in foul weather, bitterly cold, sleeting/snowing horizontally into your face, is just another experience: you know you will be warm again (although I'm not quite warm yet, five hours later!)

But what about those fears that surround changes that are effected one deliberate decision at a time?
So, so scary to order a banana-peanut butter-spirulina smoothie with apple juice...

...because doing it once means it could happen again--it might become a regular part of life. And what other sugarific, PUFA'd-out places might that lead to? Ah, black and white is so comforting and reassuring. It saves taking that step that might become a slip that might pull you onto another rollercoaster... (Does that 1% sodium casinate in the coconut milk powder I use for my kefir mean I'm not a vegan? And what excesses could be unleashed if I let go that label? Or, for years, the relevant question was 'if I feed myself at all, I'm not a real anorexic: and then what's left and who am I?)

I am not a label. My name is a convenient handle to grab me by, but all the rest (poet, writer, vegan, eating-disordered, raw, bigger, thinner, lover, whatever) must be a pretty loose fit.

Those roasted veggies...

...and roasted veggie-legume dishes

...were daunting steps toward the rollercoaster: what if it becomes a habit? What if it changes who I am?

Next blog post, I'll expand more on what I hinted last time, that actually this may be a very positive and empowering--and healing--'coaster for me to step on.

If you try anything 'once,' you'll increase the likelihood that you'll do it again.

Shifting Topics a little...
If an eagle in our yard will let us get this close once... (this one's a juvenile, they're bigger than adults)...

...it's likely it will happen again.

Stunning.

And finally, some greenery and a contribution/tribute to the single-serving focus that seems to have been initiated by Amber.  I was thinking about the whole single-serving recipe idea, and how oftentimes, if I'm making something, I want to make a good big batch to last some time, but that I make 'single-serving'
smoothies all the time. Next thought: I've had pea soup on my mind (who knows?...) these past few days, and in the raw food arena, a soup often differs from a smoothie only in that it's savory, served in a bowl with a spoon and some toppings and textural garnishes. And some smoothies work pretty well that way too.

So, I present a single serving of Thai-flair Raw Pea Soup!

You'll need:
1 cup almond milk (I used mostly coconut kefir whey and a little almond milk)
4-inch strip (half-inch wide) of mature coconut meat (could use two tablespoons shredded coconut)
2 inches scallion (green part)
2 sprigs parsley
1 inch lemongrass
a big piece of ginger (half inch knob)
1 tablespoon white miso

2 tablespoons lemon juice or coconut vinegar

1 cup thawed frozen peas (if you're lucky enough to have access to fresh peas this time of year, by all means use them.

Blend everything except the peas on high until well-incorporated and smooth. Then add the peas and blend again.

Pour into a bowl and garnish with coconut kefir (any 'sour creme' would work well), a dusting of chlorella and a sprinkle of nutritional yeast. 

This is delicious! I would have liked it even more if I'd let the peas thaw thoroughly before making it: I was so chilled from our hike that something warmer would have been welcome. Otherwise, though, the coconut gives it more of a hearty, chewy texture, the Thai spices make it interesting and well-rounded and the peas themselves are sweet, flavorful and comforting. I'm sure it would lend itself to dunking crackers just wonderfully. 

Tomorrow I may try to make a cooked pea soup too, but I can't imagine doing that as just a single serving. I'll let you know.

What rollercoasters are you afraid to step on? What fears have elided by through sheer force of momentum?

much love