The conference ended just over three hours ago and I won't pretend to have anything like the distance required for a full and thorough review. I'm exhausted but still excited, and holding a very firm intention that this has been just the beginning - of many new friendships and connections, of more performance poetry happening here in Homer, of my own attendance at conferences like this one, of my wholehearted and unashamed embracing of myself as a poet and a writer.
I remember the years-ago experience of being so jaded by academia and conferences, of being cynical and disappointed, exciting topics not being met as they deserved, panels echoing one another and not really saying anything, books larded with postmodernist jargon and too dense to evoke any real enthusiasm (or even comprehension). Granted, that experience took place when I was still floundering around trying to find my way out of anorexia and not really living at all, when everything palled and galled and fell short. And granted, after I've been to a whole bunch of writers' conferences, my enthusiasm to dive in wholeheartedly, be vulnerable, speak up, sincerely tackle every exercise offered, may wane a little. But I would never want to exchange the childlike enthusiasm that I experienced at this conference for that more somber mode of response. It's been a long time coming, but for these last four and a half days I have really lived the philosophy that life is meant to be enjoyed - something that has usually been a merely intellectual construct for me.
An obvious marker of this enthusiasm was that I felt so spoiled for choice. Every concurrent session, there were at least two presentations that I wanted to attend. Phil was a trooper, and often went to my 'second choice' (which often suited him just right). But I did get the full benefit of two sessions with each of the wonderful Poetry teachers - Maurya Simon, of whom I was already a fan, and Emily Wall and Joan Kane, both of whom were thoroughly inspiring in their different ways. In each of their sessions, we had the opportunity to write a poem of our own - or a draft of one - sometimes we had as little as ten minutes! And this brought home to me the truth of the fact that it's not just the faculty who were inspiring and wonderful: many of my peers in the room wrote the most beautiful, moving, inspiring or otherwise amazing poems!
And here was the golden kernel of what was possibly the most important thing that I learned: no need for value judgment comparison! When we really want to be good at something, it can be tempting to hear someone else who is really good and feel discouraged, think 'why do I bother?' or 'they're so much better than me.' And some such thoughts did pass through my head. But as I saw them passing through, I recognized that as much as I admired these other people's poetry, I didn't wish to have written it! I admired their level of accomplishment and in some cases it inspired me to think about how I could improve my own. But I want to tell my own poems the very best that I can, so that they are as touching/inspiring/beautiful/heart-pulling as they can be, so that they can be their best - not to take on someone else's voice.
This realization was so comforting and so empowering. Academics and poets all the way back to the Ancient Greek world have so often been so highly agonistic: Strife one of the great motive and creative forces, as Hesiod, Heraclitus, Empedocles, and others, all said.
It was great to have the opportunity to ask Michael Cunningham some questions about his writings, and then to have a workshop with him. He is one funny guy! In his workshop, he had the whole room create a character in polyphonic style, demonstrating how much is revealed about a character just from her physiology, attire and affect. We laughed so much, and there were some vigorous disputes too.
Laughter was served further in ample measure by Bill Roorbach, Dinty Moore, and Stephanie Elizondo Griest, but all three of them constantly offered profound, compassionate, deep messages together with the laughter.
I was especially grateful for the short presentation on performance poetry by Joan Wilson: reading poetry aloud, or performing it, seem so central and crucial to understanding it.
And it was eye-opening and informative to hear from editors Elisabeth Dabney and Jennifer Pooley and from agent April Eberhardt about the business end of things. One of the major take-home messages was that the potential of the internet for communication and promotion is great and merits great attention.
Of course, there were several other presenters that I didn't get to listen to. I feel like I have about a week's worth of research to do online checking through and following up on what I've learned.
Nancy Lord closed with a memorable list of eleven pieces of advice for writers practicing the craft: a well-packaged take-home message to launch our new beginnings.
