The 'What,' The 'Why' and the 'How'

The 'What'

Here I am. After years of eschewing technology, and then some weeks of agonizing about accusations of narcissism and my lack of home internet connection, here I am carving out my own little piece of netspace, port of embarkation for virtual exploration, haven of comfort to which I can welcome guests. There is so much I want to share, write, communicate! Everything that I say comes from the context of being in recovery from black-and-white thinking.

The name 'Ulterior Harmony' is a reference to the saying by the Ancient Greek (presocratic) Philosopher Heraclitus, fragment 54 'Harmonia aphanes phaneres kreittwn' - 'The hidden harmony is more powerful than the obvious' (or - 'An unmanifest connection is more powerful than a manifest one:' one of the many things I love about Heraclitus is the multiplicity of entendres.) Heraclitus has been my 'muse' for many years and this fragment in particular helps express my quest for balance in general, and the balance in particular between accomplishment on an obvious and linear path, and accomplishing all kinds of things below the surface when it looks like you're just daydreaming or washing dishes. Having a title that is an oblique quotation, by the way, also expresses my wish to balance the constant desire to be 'original,' to experience life on my own terms, with the equally constant recognition that 'original' is meaningless without pre-existing contexts and presuppositions, and that my own terms are defined in relation to many others. I expect to want to talk more about Heraclitus.

I also expect to want to talk about finding home on our beautiful planet. I currently live in a tiny cabin 30ft from the edge of a bluff on the outskirts of Homer, Alaska, looking out over the Kachemak Bay. Previously, I lived on the Big Island of Hawaii, almost as different as you can get, climatically speaking, and in the California Bay Area. In all three, I have been engaged in learning to listen to the land, be out in 'nature,' growing food, growing community. Relationships, first and foremost with my wonderful husband, who brought me here, will get their turn too, and the general question of how to be our best selves. My community is spread out farther and wider too: I grew up in England, with frequent trips to Israel, and my family lives over there, as well as many lovely people whom I still consider as dear friends. I count myself so grateful that I am able to have such a nurturing and fulfilling relationship with my family despite being so far away.

I expect to be talking a lot about food. I'll probably find myself talking about raw foods a lot in particular. I was a strict rawfoodist for a half dozen years, and then for various reasons needed to step away from that, and am now finding myself drawn in that direction again, especially because of my desire to reconnect with the wonderful people that I got to know in that world.
I expect that I'll also be talking about recovery from Anorexia Nervosa. My break from raw foods was needed to take that recovery to a new level for me, and the fact that I'm being led back towards that world is hopefully an indication that my healing from the 'black-and-white' pitfalls in that area is well underway. I feel my throat loosen just as I type that I expect to be talking about this topic. For several years I had felt ashamed even to mention that this had been a problem for me, had not wanted, as I moved home repeatedly, to create relationships with people having them know that I had been 'one of those.' Now, though, I recognize that talking about it in appropriate contexts is one of the ways that I may be able to be of help to others: that I am still alive after almost giving my life up to Anorexia completely is a message of hope. (This is part of the 'Why,' too.)
Some wordspace will also go to 'Calorie Restriction with Optimum Nutrition:' a path that I feel drawn to explore (ironically) because of the metabolic and absorptive challenges my body is left with after Anorexia.
I'd love to talk about the whole issue of parameters in food choices: what a huge variety of parameters influence our decision making, conscious and otherwise: how to recognize and optimize these.

Writing about writing. Well, of course! I love concatenations of words and the communications that can flow from these. Of course I'll have to talk about them. And I suspect I won't be able to resist a book review here and there either.

The 'Why'

I want to share, I want to communicate, I want to explore recipes for success and for delicious foods with others of like mind. In what I think of as my 'real' life, I have been inspired by the fiction of writers such as Peter Watts and David Marusek to recognize the reality of the 'virtual' world as a good reason to have a base for myself here too. I want to be able to be seen both by my friends and loved ones who live far away, and to help me integrate into the community right here, where I am a relative stranger.

And, after some years of avoiding and eschewing modern day technology of any kind, anticipating its imminent collapse and a return to stone implements and telepathy, I was finally persuaded by the advice of my wonderful friend Lynn, or her narration of her sister's advice to her. Her sister told her that it behooves her to stay on top of technology and other current coin of the world, to move with the spirit of the time, if she wants to continue to participate in life. This spoke to me too. Starting this blog is an acknowledgment of my desire to participate in life and a recognition that writing is one of my primary modes of engagement and the internet one of the primary modes of sharing it.

The 'How'

I have no internet at home, and a regular part of my exercise program is hiking down to town to use the library. So my posting here will be far from trigger-fingered and will not be every day. This is not the home at which to contact me in an emergency! But this little space has been very dear to my heart for a long time even before I made the decision to bring it to life, so the 'how' will also be with sincerity and dedication. I really hope that it will be a friendly space for comments, discussion and camaraderie.

To the joy of perennial learning without dogma! To the health of all of us!