Coming up in April--30 Days of Posts! Health Activist and Poet?

Look what I saw on our path today--green clover!

That'll bring the moose to their knees, for sure! After such an unrelenting winter, Spring is here of a sudden. Rivers of meltwater running everywhere, and more and more ground exposed, sometimes a big step down from residual snow. Well, it is almost April!

The Library in town this morning

Coming Up in April

Speaking of April, this will be my last post in March, and I have undertaken to post every single day in April! To be honest, part of me doesn't know what I'm playing at, as April promises to be maximally busy already, with my final MFA packet of the school year due, the last few units of my Linguistics course to prepare, then review, final and term grades by the first week of May. And editing and translating. And taxes! 

But when I was invited to take part in WEGO's Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge, I had to say "yes." Although first and foremost I am always a poet, I consider myself many kinds of "writer." I further believe that the more topics I'm able to write clearly about in a way that invites connection and empathy, the better a poet I may become. Am I a "Health Activist?" Yes, in the sense that I take action on a daily basis (sometimes for better, sometimes for worse) to manage my own health conditions. More importantly, outside of my own vortex, I always do the best I can to educate and support the people in my life in their health and healing decisions, whether that takes the form of nutritional education, providing food friendly to their newly diagnosed allergies, or researching an appropriate supplement for them.


One additional thought: given how busy I'll be in April, I'll need to be a "Health Activist" just to keep my own more self-destructive instincts in check as I negotiate the stress, so this daily check-in may be a lifesaver.

April is also National Poetry Month. Last year, I tried NaPoWriMo--writing a poem every day of April. I just looked at those a few days ago, and there are many drafts in there that are itching to be worked into something to see the light of day. More to add to the pile for when the crunch ends (if it ends?!) in mid-May. I'll be writing many poems this April too, in between all the rest.

What to Expect?

WEGO have provided a prompt for each day of April, and I will probably utilize at least many of those. Since I am going to be so busy, I will also aim to keep my posts brief.

What else to expect? I've been going back and forth about whether to be more open on this blog about my personal health struggles, diagnoses, etc--whether to write more posts along the lines of Monday's post this week, for example. I've asked the advice of some trusted friends and received a mixture of suggestions, from encouragement because posts like this can be very helpful to others in similar positions to caution about the danger of people holding these revelations against me later in certain contexts. Any more thoughts or suggestions on this will be much appreciated.

Of course, I'll continue to post recipes, although it's probably pretty obvious that I'm not much into food of late. I may post some "for other people" recipes, as I make those no matter whether I'm eating or not and they're guaranteed mainstream-tasty. I'll also get up that protein powders review/comparison I've been promising for some time.

Because of the prompts, there'll probably be something of a shake-up on here if only in terms of format of posts. It'll be fun! Please join me--and if you wish to participate in the 30 days of posts, it's not too late to sign up!

Have a lovely weekend, and be free with your advice!

much love.

Receding Snow, Snow Smoothies

I've never been much for ice in my drinks. So typical of my timing, then, that I should acquire a penchant for "snow smoothies/ice cream" just as our epic snow streak starts to dwindle. Especially at the edge of the bluff, the snow is receding fast...

...although we still have a snow field back from the bluff. Last night I don't think it even froze here.

A glass of snow blended with spirulina and other ingredients makes a wonderful soft-serve type lunch, as I shared in my last post, or just mix the snow with water and chosen flavor (as in this rosewater cordial) for a refreshing mid-afternoon lift. Unfortunately, snow drinks tend to make me chilled as well, but I'm enjoying the taste and texture so much right now that it seems worth it!


So far this week, I've stayed off the caffeine pills and caffeinated tea, and I've stayed off the cacao, and I've slept at least more than I had been, and gobbled down meds like a good girl. But I still wanted my snowy spirulina lunch, and I discovered that it could be just as delicious without the cacao!

This one was: 
1/3 cup nut milk (I used unsweetened Almond Breeze)--just enough to spin the blades
1 cup fresh local snow (I'm going to have to start thinking of alternatives)
1 spoonful spirulina
1 teaspoon lucuma
1/2-1 teaspoon mint extract
stevia and xylitol to taste
1 pinch lecithin granules and/or 1/2 teaspoon xanthan or guar gum


Blend until smooth in a high speed blender.
Mint ice cream! OK, maybe not quite, as there's no fat in there. You don't miss it, though. Definitely mint sorbet--refreshing, a little sweet, delightful.


NB I know that this is very light on calories. However, it's also very easy to make into a more substantial offering. You could use full-fat coconut cream instead of unsweetened almond breeze. You could add some melted coconut oil, which would make it more ice-cream-like and creamy in general, and would add good nutrition too. You could triple the amount of lucuma, and add some tocotrienols, which are also creamy. You could even add some flax seeds, although you should make sure to blend very well so that they're not gritty. Carob powder? Carob goes beautifully with mint. Protein powder? Sure. I feel spirulina offers a good dose of protein, but doubling up would be good too. And you could substitute some of the snow with frozen nut milk. 


One of the things I love about smoothie-type recipes is how infinitely elastic and versatile they are--so easy to make your own. 


On a very different note, RIP Adrienne Rich, role model and inspiration for poets, especially women poets, for over half a century.

Bargaining for My Autonomy, End of the Chocolate Streak ("50 First Weeks")

A new week, a new opportunity to set intentions for the best. Still snow everywhere, but more thaw than freeze, and some brilliant sunshine. Made it down to the beach for a sunset hike, and there's very little snow down there...but worrying amounts of erosion.  

This week brings a very serious and challenging resolution imperative. I mentioned an ultimatum from my Naturopath in my last post. What's at stake is nothing short of my own autonomy and ability to be out in the world. This is a bald and alarming threat to face. When a person is overextended and under a lot of stress, it's not that abnormal for her to pull several all-nighters consecutively, use a lot of caffeine, and fail to eat adequately or take prescribed medication, is it?


What my ND told me was that my doing so, given my health conditions, is creating a potentially dangerous and life-threatening situation, and I had to admit that he wasn't sensationalizing or exaggerating: it was the simple truth. So, I have a contract with him agreeing to a prescribed bedtime, agreeing to abstain from caffeine, agreeing to take medications. (There's probably something about food on there too, but I don't listen to anyone else when it comes to food.) 
And I still have to get all my work done without staying up all night!


I feel torn between recognition that this agreement is going to save my life and health, and irritation that I have to agree to go to bed like a little kid and not just do as I please! But since I recognize that what's at stake is my autonomy, my ability to live my own life in my own home, and the alternative is so distasteful, I have given up a little of my autonomy in order to preserve the major part of it. And I realize that really, as momentous as all this might sound, it's just like any other part of life. Not one of us is truly autonomous. I write this blog because you will read it. Even my most independent actions, like solo hikes in the wilderness, are having or will have an effect on someone at some time. Most people work at a job that makes demands on their freedom, so that they're free to do what they want with the rest of their lives.
This week I intend to examine the ways in which I am dependent and interdependent with everything and everyone else in my life.


This post is also an explanation of why there probably won't be many more "chocolate" recipes on here for a while. Speaking of which, if you enjoyed the brownie bite recipe I just posted, please check back, because I edited to add an ingredient I'd forgotten from the list! I've written so many times before about not being able to have chocolate, and have posted all kinds of chocolate alternative recipes. But on my recent caffeine kick, I've eased up on the ban, hence the brownie bites recipe; a typical recent lunch has looked like this: 

An apple, a carrot, and a smoothie made out of fresh local snow, spinach, spirulina, stevia, and cacao powder, with cacao nibs on top. My Naturopath says a tiny piece of chocolate occasionally is ok, but throwing cacao powder into smoothies made of nothing else but ice and greens every day is not.


So, time to make some changes here--I love my freedom, so I'll trade a little freedom to keep it, right?

How do you trade your autonomy in order to have your freedom?

Spring Colors and Brownie Bite Recipe

Happy Weekend! After six nights of zero-to-three hours of sleep and an ultimatum from my naturopath yesterday, I slept a full night last night! As a result, I'm feeling kinda groggy today, go figure...
I'm finally going to share the recipe for those brownie bites I mentioned so many times.

Phil got back safe and thrilled from his ski trip. He had one day of glorious sunshine, and one day that it looked like this.

Changeable, our version of spring weather.
That gray morning, my home-alone breakfast gave me the feeling of spring, with its vibrant colors...

A shredded carrot, a very small sliced orange, and a half tablespoon of goji berries, soaked overnight. So juicy, so pleasing on the palate!

So, those brownie bites! I realized they would be very easy to make sugar free as well. so I'll provide options for that. Even in the not-sugar-free version, they involve a lot of very dark chcoolate and not a lot of sweetener, so they're really not very sweet even then. They're not what a milk chocolate lover would like--they're serious, hard-core, bitter chocolate. They do involve raisins, though, and I just adore the chocolate/raisin combo.
Brownie Bites (raw, vegan gluten free)
1/2 cup raisins, soaked ahead of time (reserve soak water) OR for sugar free version  3/4 cup "chia sweet" (see this old post for the whole concept)
2 cups carrot pulp  (or use grated carrot, squeezing out some of the excess moisture
3 oz 100% cacao chocolate, finely grated
1 cup cacao nibs (you can use 2 cups cacao nibs or 6 oz of 100% dark chocolate as you prefer)
1 cup shredded unsweetened coconut
1/4 cup macadamia nut butter (or other nut butter--I used homemade) (edited to add this that I forgot to include in my initial post!)
1/4 cup maple syrup (omit this if doing the sugar free version)
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1 teaspoon ground cardamom
1/2 teaspoon cayenne (spices optional)
Put the carrot pulp, coconut and chocolate/cacao into a food processor with the S-blade and whiz around until incorporated.
Add the maple syrup and raisins OR the chia-sweet, and the vanilla extract. If using the raisins, start by just adding the raisins without their soaking water, and gradually add the water with the motor running if the mixture seems too dry.
Add the salt, and spices if using, and process to a smooth, moist dough.

Tip the dough out on to a teflex-lined dehydrator sheet and form into a square about 9x9 and half an inch thick.

Dehydrate around 24 hours--start out at 145, then reduce to 110 after the first hour.
Cut into pieces--in 40 pieces, they worked out at 35 calories each with the raisins and maple.

I still have lots of these in the freezer at home, so when I get home I'll take a better picture of one! Later--I'm not sure this is a better picture, but it was the best I could do:

They are super-dark-chocolatey, as I said before, and despite the dehydration, they remain moist with that alluring not-quite-crunchiness of the nibs and carrot.
So, this may not be for everyone, but to me it's really special. The first time I made these, as I mentioned before, I found them sinfully irresisible. This time, they're not quite as wonderful, and I think it's because I didn't use as many raisins this time.

Irish Cream Mousse Recipe, Kneeling Moose, Phil Adventures

Homer is known as the town at the end of the road. Well, there's a long road out the end of Homer, opening into the back fold of the bay, a huge and gorgeous wilderness. I dropped Phil there yesterday with his loaded sled, jury-rigged with skate-ski poles for him to pull it by.

He's headed out for a couple days in this glorious wilderness. It'll be a combination of reconnecting with something he's loved doing every spring, and discovering new territory. He used to go on a lot of ski-camping trips in the backcountry around Anchorage all the years he lived there, come March, when there's still lots of snow but the days are luxuriously long. But the backcountry around Homer is less explored for him, and he's excited to change that.

His playground: (and this picture doesn't do justice to the mountains on the horizon and the gorgeous sweep of valley below--two river drainages).

When I was driving home, I saw this moose in our neighbors' yard. Snow had melted or gone away under this spruce tree, revealing some tired, brown grass from last year. Apparently, that was the best food available right now. Moose are browsers, not grazers, so they have to get down on their knees to eat from the ground. Pretty poignant.

I've had several requests to share recipes recently, and will work on catching up on that. First, the "Irish Moss Mousse." I threw this together from off the top off my head when we got back home and had a St Patrick's Day party to go to. We shared it with some other friends the next night, and then Tuesday was Amy's birthday party, so it got another outing then--and now it's all gone! And this is the only picture ;)

Note: this is not a "pristine purist" raw food recipe. It contains some instant coffee, and some whisky! It is very low sugar, though, and my Naturopath recently told me that whisky and other hard liquors don't bother candida (not sure why he was telling me that, lol)! But I'm sure you could sub out both of these if you didn't want them in--I'll offer some suggestions for how to do that.

I also did this in such a hurry that I used warm water to soak my irish moss and nuts. Ideally, I would have soaked the irish moss for longer, in cool water; ditto the nuts.


Irish Moss Mousse (mostly raw, vegan, gluten free, low sugar)


1 cup irish cream irish moss gel *subrecipe below
3/4 cup whisky! Or use nut milk, or water with butterscotch extract (if you can find it gluten and dairy free, if that matters to you), or water with more vanilla
1 cup young coconut meat (I get frozen young coconut meat in Anchorage. It does have a little added sugar, so I don't use it often. If you're anywhere but AK, you probably have easier access to young cocos!)

1 cup soaked cashews

1/2 cup coconut sugar (for the tawny color)--or use a half cup erythritol if you want it sugar free

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon vanilla
2 tablespoons non-gmo lecithin granules (or use sunflower lecithin)


Put everything in the blender except the lecithin. Put the ingredients in in the order listed--it blends more smoothly that way. Blend until very smooth. Test the flavor, add a little stevia or a pinch of salt if the taste isn't quite "in focus," add the lecithin, and blend again.

Pour into a 9-in pie plate and chill. I sprinkled cacao nibs on top as decoration--some coconut whipped cream or similar would have been beautiful too.


*Sub-recipe: Irish Cream Irish Moss Gel
2 cups irish moss, soaked (approximate measurement)
3/4 cup brewed coffee, cooled (you could brew up some chicory or maca instead of real coffee, or you could use a few drops of Medicine Flower coffee flavor extract in water).
1/2 cup erythritol
Blend all three together in a Vita-Mix or high speed blender, on high, until a smooth gel is obtained.

Notice, this recipe has no coconut oil or cacao butter in it! This means it doesn't set up quite as firm as a recipe with oil added--it's more of a spoon pudding really, but it also means it's way lighter! So, low or no sugar, light on the fat, and that really brings out the kick of the coffee and whisky. I couldn't eat very much of it because I'd have gotten drunk and buzzed, probably, but a little went a long way, and it received rave reviews from everyone else! If you did want it thicker/richer, you could use nut milk in place of the whisky, and add either some coconut oil (half a cup)--or even cacao butter for a chocolatey flair--or some xanthan gum (one teaspoon).

Let me know if you try it! And thanks for the encouragement to post the recipe before I forgot what I did!

"50 First Weeks"--Green Shoots and Where Will the Snow Go?

"50 First Weeks" again, a day late, but I seem to be losing track of time.  It's snowing again today, but the days are light so long, it seems only natural to work several more hours after dark, just like I was doing all winter.

So one "50 First Week" start-over that I should plan for this week is to get back into the habit of going to bed at night!

The biggest question with all the incredible piles of snow (celebrated in my previous post) is What's going to happen when it all melts? Melt it will, within a couple months, and that is a lot of water that needs to dissipate. Living as close to the edge as we do, every spring we see torrents of water gushing urgently seaward, carrying earth with it--we get a little closer to the edge every year.

Thinking about where all the snow will go reminds me of the question where all my emotional baggage will go. Some of it is held frozen, like the snowpack. And perhaps that's a good thing in a way--it's like a blanket, keeping my earth relatively warm. But it'll have to melt sometime, and then what?

My first response is to say that a very good piece of advice for writers is not to write about an emotional charge when you're too close to it to have perspective. So, I'm not going to write about some triggering events that happened over the past few days--I'll let them remain as snow and ice for now. Instead, I will release some "old snow," and talk about something that caught me several months ago, that I chose not to write about back then.

Last summer, I finally obtained a dehydrator after many years doing without. Because shipping to AK is so expensive, and because we were going to Oregon to Phil's mom last May, I had it shipped to her home in OR, with the plan of bringing it up here. Then, Phil and I between us spaced on letting Phil's mom know that I'd done that. When the dehydrator was delivered, she assumed it was a gift for her! Of course, we didn't want to disabuse her of the idea.

I'm eternally grateful that I didn't write about this at the time. I was so unmagnanimous and ungenerous. I was so upset and self-centered! All I could think was how I'd saved for that quite expensive dehydrator, how there were already several (less good, though) dryers at the farm, how I couldn't afford to buy two...poor poor pitiful me...

As it turns out, I chose to make it so I could afford to buy a second one for us (which was just a matter of taking on a little extra editing), and found a better way to get it shipped up to AK. As it turns out, Phil's mom, in her late 80's, still does so much home preservation, and she liked that dehydrator so much, she ended up buying a second one just like it, and she wouldn't have known about Excaliburs without that having happened. It was really the best possible gift for her.

I still feel ashamed of my initial reaction to the miscommunication, and so glad I didn't write about it at the time. In retrospect, I'm so grateful for the opportunity to experience abundance and sharing.

That's some good snow to have melted!

Meanwhile, as snow falls outside today, the photo at the top of this post shows a green shoot! I am so excited and surprised by this one. It's an unlikely story--I couldn't have made this up. I brought some turmeric root back from England--we were there in November 2010, so well over a year ago. I ate most of it fairly quickly, but one root got covered up in our hanging basket and hung out there for most of a year. When I found it, it had a sprout, so I decided to plant it and see what would happen.

For a few months, the results were depressing. The pot sat right in front of one of my work spaces; the shoot shriveled and shrunk. It appeared I'd killed the root by planting it! Still, I watered sporadically, hopefully. I never quite got around to tossing it out. And now look at that beautiful green furled flagpole! The original sprout seems to be coming back too.

I just love this, and not only because I love turmeric so much, or because it came all the way from my favorite Asian market near my parents' home in England, a year and a quarter ago!

Are you seeing green shoots where you are? What snow have you let melt lately?
Happy Spring!

Mostly Pictures of Snowforms and Moose

In my last post, I promised more photos when I got home. And here they are! A lot of photos in one post.
This is one of the snow-submerged benches--we're walking along at the level of the seat, and you can see it's been alluring for a few dogs too!

See the cute little snowman on the garbage can? And I think the posterboard looks like a moose from the side!

Phil got in close and made the snowman look huge!

The lake we were hiking around is just beginning to thaw in places--a beautiful time.

 

The moose from the top down and the beavers from the bottom up have been hard on the trees--lots had fallen down!  Terry is an incredible photographer, and she's working on taking one great shot each time rather than shooting a dozen and hoping for a good one.
It's a treat to watch her at work, finding the right angle, light, composition.

The artist at work in the beautiful birch wood... 

And of course a scenic shot... 

Here's a couple more pics of those downtown moose from the last post-- 

A big cow and her calf, both of them looking much healthier than some moose we've seen around.

 Another moose crossing the road--I just caught her in this picture, do you see?

The snow berms on the sides of the road are just beautiful. The snow is dirty and grayed from the road spray, but it has all kinds of amazing reliefs carved into it, like wind-chiseled sandstone. 

There was some fresh snow that whitened everything up--gives some idea of how darn much snow there is, too! 

One more. If we weren't on the open road, it might feel like being in a mysterious cave! I kept wanting to stop and just stare at those carved formations on the vertical snow. 

This picture is taken from our friend Joe's front room. See how the snow is almost up to the bird feeder?

And looking past the bird feeder--that's some deep snow! 

We knew we should have driven the truck to town! Phil scored at the Habitat for Humanity ReStore. Turned our "warthog" into a snail!  

 We had a beautiful drive home...

And although the car seemed about to break down at one point, we got home in time for a very delightful St Patrick's Day party, in honor of which I even had time to make a raw vegan Irish Cream mousse with irish moss!

One more--these icicles outside our cabin, bent into all kinds of interesting shapes--I could look at them for minutes on end.

 Happy end of weekend to you!

ABCD Moon Medallions and Anchorage Snow

Happy Friday, everyone! We've been in Anchorage since Wednesday, so I'm a little out of the loop. Had a couple serious appointments--some intense processing to do as a result. But I've been enjoying the face of Anchorage at this stage of the winter (yes, it is still winter, bright sun this afternoon notwithstanding). This moose cow and calf pair were right downtown, enjoying a tree that wouldn't normally be their first choice...

 And here's our friend Lynn's deck--the table and chairs have been the site of many a gorgeous late summer dinner, and now they are a little snow-toadstool! We hiked on trails where the level of snow was as high as the benches, which you could see buried every here and there along the way. I'll post some more pics when I get home.

For now, though, a new recipe that seemed too good not to share. With all the complex breakfasts I've been posting lately, low on calories and long on mineral-rich fillers, I wondered how to make a similar breakfast on the road as we are. The answer has been to eat a granny smith apple and one of these "ABCD Moon Medallions," which are about 35 calories apiece. Holds me all the way to lunchtime!

 

A-is for apricots--AND Amazing Grass
B-is for brazil nuts
C-is for chia AND carrot pulp
D-is for dates AND delicious

And what about the Moon? Well, the reason I included brazil nuts in these medallions is that they're so incredibly high in selenium, and with my thyroid condition especially, it's a good idea to get plenty of selenium in. Oh, and "selene" is the moon. You know I'm terrified of omega-6, and brazil nuts have lots of those, so they're balanced out by ground chia seeds, which have more omega 3 than omega 6. I'm more comfortable eating one of these medallions than eating a straight brazil nut. I dehydrated the rest of my carrot pulp so that it could feature in these "instant" recipes and cut the denseness of nuts/seeds and dried fruit.

Like my fig bars, these also feature dried nettles for extra mineral richness, and in addition these have some chocolate Amazing Grass powder for the same, and for a subtle chocolate flavor.

ABCD Moon Medallions (raw, vegan, soy/gluten/dairy free) (Makes 20 medallions)
1/3 cup apricots, chopped
1/3 cup dates, chopped
1/4 cup brazil nuts
1/4 cup ground chia seeds
3/4 cup dehydrated carrot pulp
2 tablespoons powdered dried nettles
2 tablespoons Amazing Grass chocolate flavored green powder

Whiz the brazil nuts alone in a food processor until chopped. Add the nettles, then the dried fruit, and gradually add the ground chia, carrot pulp, nettles, and Amazing Grass. Process until everything comes together into a ball.

Roll the "dough" into two thin logs and refrigerate for an hour or two.

Slice them into medallions--I got 20 out of this recipe.
That little sweet, nutty, mineral rich boost combines perfectly with the juicy apple for a lasting breakfast.
They're a little lighter than the typical lara bar, with the addition of the greens and the pulp. Also, because they use chia seeds and pulp in greater proportion than smooth, creamy nuts, and because of the nettles, they have a slightly grittier texture--but in a good way! It's kind of an earthy, good for you but delicious kind of taste, and they're more satisfying for less calories.

Sound good to you?

Since I seem to be transgressing my chocolate interdict at the moment anyway, I might as well confess to another treat I've enjoyed in the past week--chocolate coconut water, who knew?

There's real cocoa and coconut cream in there with the coconut water, as well as some cane sugar and ??natural flavors (a bit of a red flag). I enjoyed this over two days--smooth and yummy. I was surprised by it--all the coconut waters flooding the market at the moment tend to run to mango or pineapple flavors if they're not plain. I wasn't sure it would be good, and was pleasantly surprised.

I'm going to sign off so I can get back to preparing my classes for next week and also maybe do some of the processing I need to do. I hope you enjoy the medallions--and have a great weekend!

Harbingers of Spring from Full Circle--Two Wonderful Strawberry Recipes!

As snowy as the ground remains here, look what a treat was in our Full Circle box this week!

I almost couldn't believe it--strawberries in March in Alaska, fresh and organic, in our own little box!

They arrived when Phil was away at the end of last week, and I was careful to save plenty for him (it was only an 8oz box). However, I made myself one delicious breakfast and one delicious lunch using three strawberries each time, with plenty left to welcome him home.

For both meals, I put my agar gel to use, armed with the better knowledge that it needed to be blended down! The breakfast was a white pudding type thing, and the lunch was a thick green smoothie that turned out not green at all!
Strawberry Breakfast Pudding
1/4 cup agar gel (per the linked recipe)
1/4 cup flax milk or other nut milk
1/4 teaspoon stevia
splash vanilla, or pinch vanilla powder
optional: 1 tb vanilla protein powder, or lucuma, 1 tsp slippery elm powder
3 strawberries, chopped

Blend everything except the strawberries together. Even a handheld blender works fine for this.
Stir in the chopped strawberries, and garnish with a few mulberries if you wish.

I do love mulberries, and they're a garnish on the lunch too. Can you believe there's a cup of spinach in the below smoothie? This smoothie also features maca--I mentioned recently that maca and coconut have a wonderful affinity; well, I happen to think maca and strawberries complement one another just beautifully also.

Pink Green Maca Lunch Smoothie (which of course would be fine for any meal!)
1/4 cup agar gel (per the linked recipe)
1/4 cup flax milk
1/4 cup water or cooled herbal tea of choice (e.g. gynostemma-rhodiola)
1 tsp slippery elm powder
1 tsp maca powder
1/4 teaspoon stevia
1 teaspoon erythritol (substitute any preferred sweetener)
1 cup fresh spinach
1/4 cup frozen peas (love these in my smoothies!)
3 strawberries (if you wish, freeze these for an hour or two before blending)
1 small piece of beet (this is what gives it that wonderful color
vanilla
Blend in a high powered blender until creamy smooth; garnish with mulberries.

Such a pleasant lunch on a sunny snowy day!
Have you had fresh strawberries yet this year? What's your favorite flavor combination with strawberries?

What Does it Mean to Succeed as a Poet, and a Little Recipe ("50 First Weeks")

Bright sunshine here again, 20 degrees...

In retrospect, last week's "50 First Weeks" post feels a bit like a metrical filler--somewhat unnecessary words added to a poem to make it rhyme or scan. With the clocks having gone forward yesterday for the new beginning of a premature spring, I want to make today's post an earnest "50 First Weeks" effort, in keeping with the spirit of the original idea that every week could represent a renewal.

So, I'm going to share some thoughts about success as a poet, and one tiny little recipe inspired by this glaresomely bright day.

Success as a Poet
In our "resolve to write" event in January, I said that I wanted to be recognizable as a poet, to myself and to everyone, and that I would do everything I could to put my work out there. Now, I've had a poem win second place in the Statewide contest. On Saturday night, I had the odd experience of performing that poem over speakerphone as part of the reading by the winners up in Fairbanks!

But is this small and sweet success more significant than the fact that that same poem may have inspired a friend in one of my writers' groups to write about a difficult but important topic she hadn't previously been able to find her way into? Is it more significant than the fact that another friend has been finding solace from another of my poems during some difficult times in her life? And what about the poem I wrote for my friends whose son just died, and the consolation it offered them?

Superficially, winning contests and chalking up publications are the markers of progress, recognition, success, "making it." But I confess that lately, especially with my own tendency to doubt my worth or even my deserving of air and space, these personal responses, these graces that have come about through those poems, have filled me with gratitude and--yes--validation, deeply and touchingly.

Of course, I want both! I've been way too busy to submit more poems, and I'm highly motivated to work that process back into my schedule. But with these personal and profound responses, I'm finding that this motivation is as much about hoping to reach more people and create more personal connections than it is about my own recognition.

I'm grateful for the opportunity to renew this commitment to putting my work out there, and to have the feeling that it is, at least in part, an act of service.

A tiny little recipe
This tiny little recipe has no calories and won't make you a meal, but it will refresh. It's a tribute to the juxtaposition of bright sunshine coloring the photo and all the snow in the glass.

Refreshing rose cooler
1 cup mineral water (e.g. San Pellegrino)
1 cup of snow (use crushed ice if you're not in AK!)
1/8 tsp stevia powder (or a few drops of stevia liquid)
1 tsp rosewater
Simply mix all together.

I scooped the snow out of a tall snowbank, digging down carefully to avoid flung grit from the path. But there was still a residue of sand at the bottom of the glass! Thankfully, it didn't affect the taste at all.

What does success as a writer mean to you?

Sun, Salvaging Breakfast with Lunch, First Nasty Comment--Advice?

See how this little cabin floor is bathed in light and shadow? And those are my down booties, cast off for the first time in months, my feet anomalously toasty, and there are my sweaters too! Yes, I was down to a tank top--still below freezing and snow-bound outside, but with all our south-facing windows, it gets brightly warm in here when old Sol blazes.

I even made it out for a beach hike yesterday, and even better, with a writer friend. So beautiful, the beach, and different each time, constantly rearranging and being rearranged..

Speaking of in-person contact, thank you so much for the wonderful comments on my last post and my musings about the ease of communicating 'from behind the screen.' I don't know why, but that post also garnered the first "nasty" comment I've ever received. I'm not going to reproduce it: it's still up there if you want to see, and is basically a bunch of hateful obscenity that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Since it refers to my "wife" and "kids," it's hard for me to take personally--I have neither of those. On the other hand, some person came over to my blog and typed all that in there for me (and all my readers) to see--that seems somewhat personal.

So, should I delete that comment? I don't want to be the enforcer blogger who doesn't allow people to express themselves. On the other hand, that comment is so offensive and so...random that I'm not sure what's to be gained by leaving it up. I'd be so grateful for your experience and advice. Edit: thank you, everyone, for your fine and unanimous advice. I'm taking the comment down right now. Much love.

Time to Talk Breakfast again--or Ela Discovers that Texture Matters Too
Since I posted my carrot 'slaw recipe, I've been pretty obsessed with it, and with different permutations of dried fruit and protein powders, I've often eaten it for lunch and dinner too. However, as that post relates, I seem to need to vary my breakfasts. It's definitely an important meal--even more so with my tendency of late to skimp or skip dinner--but it's also the meal from which I'm most likely to feel uncomfortable even from normally "safe" foods. So, the 'slaw has undergone various avatars, featuring shredded parsnip or zucchini in place of carrot, and even shredded apple, thawed green beans, and spirulina, as here!

Ordinarily, I don't ever try a 'new' recipe at breakfast. I always feel like I'm in a rush, and I need something that'll work guaranteed. But for some reason, yesterday I got the idea that I wanted "pudding" instead of 'slaw, and that I wanted to make it with agar. I was a little tired of irish moss, and wanted to broaden the variety of sea veggies I consume, for their beneficial minerals and soothing polysaccharides.

So, I took

1.5 cups water

1 cup flax milk

2 tablespoons agar powder,

and a little vanilla extract, and simmered the whole thing together on the stove, stirring sporadically as I rushed around fixing Phil's breakfast and preparing food for him to take on his trip. 

The resulting slurry was a little runnier than I thought ideal, but I was ok with that. I put half a cup of it in my usual bowl, stirred in some slippery elm, spirulina, and mint extract, sprinkled a few goji berries on top.

And then, it set!

It really set, with white lumps of agar where I hadn't stirred well enough. It was so set, the part I didn't take for my breakfast popped out of the measuring cup in one piece, with the parts that were stuck to the side peeling off like latex.

I couldn't eat it. Just couldn't! And I'm the person who always claims I don't care too much about texture so long as something tastes good. Well, this was beyond gross, especially the isolated agar lumps staring white from the green. And between prepping goodies for Phil's trip and making this new food, it was already so late, I couldn't justify going and whizzing the whole thing in the blender with a little extra liquid, which is all it would have taken to fix it. I just picked, and ate fruit on the side.

But come lunchtime, it got a second turn, and became a very nice pudding.

I took the picked-at contents of the original bowl, goji berries and all, and put them in the blender.
I added 1/4 cup more flax milk, 1/3 cup frozen peas, a little slice of avocado, some stevia, and a couple drops of medicine flower chocolate extract. Sprinkled with mulberries and cacao nibs, with a carrot on the side as always, it was really a pleasant lunch.

I think the "set" agar mix is great as a base, but it needs blending and smoothing out before I can enjoy it. I've enjoyed it for two meals today too, in different forms that I'll share soon.
There's all kinds of metaphors for my writing for me to ponder in this. So you think you like all textures? Try this one for size!...

Have you snatched success out of what seemed like a failure many times?
I'd love your thoughts on the mean comment too.