Celebrating Everyday Precarity

 Write about something ordinary that’s inspiring to you, something simple, perhaps overlooked,

that fuels your activism.

Today’s prompt was recommended by Abigail of http://hiddencourage.wordpress.com/

Something simple and everyday that's inspiring to me...something most of us, well or sick, handle almost every day...something that flows; ebbs, too...something many of us worry about inordinately...Today I'm going to take a brave step (yes, I say so myself) and give thanks for something I'm about to step into huge uncertainty and precarity around: MONEY, and specifically HEALTH INSURANCE!

I've never been close to wealthy; in fact, in Hawaii I lived on next to nothing for a few years. And yet, no matter how much I've felt precarious and fearful, I have always been provided for. This, I know. Of this, I remind myself when I feel like the bottom has dropped out.

When it comes to healthcare, I am so grateful I have been provided for. I am sad that healthcare in this country is so monetized--perhaps one of these prompts will get me started on the sickening, sometimes life-destroying monetization of eating disorder treatment centers; the callous, sometimes warningless spot decisions of insurance companies who couldn't see the patient at all... (okay, I just deleted a bunch there for a different post, was starting to get heated about something other than my theme for today.)

As I prepare to leave for my next trip and make gestures toward tidying up this cabin, today I went through a pile of health insurance paperwork Phil had left out for me to check. Various appointments, hospitalizations, ER visits, all the way back to last Fall. Some of the figures made my eyes ache. They simply didn't mean anything in the context of people's lives. Especially non-wealthy people's lives, and people with mental health conditions are often not wealthy. There were two health insurance company decisions I need to query and one bill that needed paying; otherwise, these tremendous sums were taken care of!

This reminds me both to feel immense gratitude and to advocate for healthcare for everyone. No one should have to worry about the bill when she comes out of a psychotic episode; no one should have to drop therapy sessions because his insurance decided he doesn't need it. No one should have to pick what meds they take based on whether there's a generic or not.

And here I am, about to lose health insurance within a few months as our marriage (through which I'm insured) dissolves. My mom said yesterday that it would be a different matter if I could just "pull out of all this" and not need the insurance. Yes, wouldn't that be lovely? When I pointed out that my previous attempts to do that had not worked out well, she agreed.

Yes, I have felt, will feel, scared, worried, frightened about this. Precarious. Do you know what precarious means at its root? It means a situation that merits praying over. So, I choose to surrender, pray, trust I will continue to be taken care of, that getting my meds and other healthcare taken care of is part of the magic that comes from outside the dominant paradigm into which healthcare is dragged.

Am I crazy? What do you think?