Interlude: Staying on Earth, A Room of One's Own

http://ulteriorharmony.org/?p=719
I'm developing a conversation about who we are and how what we feed within us helps us be/become who we are; about the choice to eat or not to eat; about fasting and alternative sources of energy; about my own unique needs and how my explorations might pertain to others. And I'm talking about time vortices. All of it in the context of new to Tucson and new to having my own space.

But today I take a small interlude to mark the anniversary of the day I tried to end it all and ended up sticking around. That was a very, very different version of myself, in a dark place. This time last year I was waiting for a lot of blood, confused, liminal from a brief visit to the other side, probably somewhat relieved at bottom. 
It's not something I speak of very much at all, and I haven't yet written about it concertedly either except right after the event, but that, I sense, is coming.
For now, this hot, peaceful day, I focus on gratitude that I am this new form of my old self, and that I am here.
I wore my healer's gold, which is actually green, perfect for me...

 I welcomed the gift of affirmation cards by putting them up in the right places (I hope you ca read the affirmations on this mirror, itself a gift from Tom James).

I didn't return to life all changed and perfected--not in the least, to my disappointment at the time. We have to do our own work. My wise friend Janice, who's a mother, says "we all have to do our own push ups (and let our children do theirs)."
I'm now here to attest that a room of one's own can help with that. My bedroom isn't perfected yet, but here's how it looks now: 

 Yes, the bed is close enough to the ceiling that I hit my head sometimes. A good reminder that beds are for sleeping in, not living in! I'm going to get some glow in the dark strips for the lower beams. And some affirmations cards for the ceiling! You can see the rebounder, and the little desk where I have fun things like coloring pencils and mandalas, notebooks, pens, notecards to write to people, and a small selection of my favorite spiritual books to be rotated with those on the other shelves. There's also a walk-in closet and a huge bookshelf to the left of the photo.
There's a string of lights twined around the bed, and I got a red bulb for the lamp up in the bed area, since red light is supposed to be best for bedtime.

It's been almost part of my spirituality for so long to be able to lay my head down anywhere I was sent to. Creating an intentional space feels like a great affirmation of my continuing to choose life.