Holiday Goodie-Making: To Proselytize or To Pander?

Many people think of the Holidays as a good time to influence their loved ones into making healthier choices by sharing healthy, or healthified, nutritious goodies that will "convert" them. Some go as far as to request their loved ones improve their diet, or even go vegan, in lieu of a gift! Others take the attitude that it's the holidays, there's a glut of all kinds of goodies, junk or not, and people are going to eat what they prefer at this time of the year if no other.

Where do I come down in the debate? If you know me at all, you'll know that I tend to be very "live and let live" about food choices, partly because I recognize that I can't change anyone else's mind, and partly because my own definition of "healthy food" has changed so many times in my life. There's also another element in the equation. When it's the holidays, I tend to get excited and think "Yay! Now's my opportunity to make a huge batch of x really elaborate raw food dish, since I'll have lots of people to eat it! I can make the Tirami-su from Sweet Gratitude or... or..."(no, I haven't made it yet), and multiply that by a lot of ideas, and I'll end up with boxes and boxes of goodies to take everywhere, everyone will get overwhelmed, there will be tons of "mainstream" desserts on the table too, and I'll take home enough leftovers to last for months.

I've now realized that I also need to think about what I want to eat. When you volunteer to make a whole bunch of goodies, you're also volunteering to take a certain amount of control over what's going to be available on the spread. Do I want there to be lots of "Ela-friendly" foods to tempt me? Do I want there to be dairy-free homemade chocolate to tempt me, when I'm already as manic as heck and have barely slept for two weeks, and chocolate pushes my brain chemistry further in that direction? If I use regular chocolate chips instead, they always have a trace of dairy taste that I can't stand, so wouldn't be tempted. If I don't bring it, you can be certain it won't be there otherwise!

And then there's the "know your audience" piece. I think virtually everyone in my "audience" would prefer the regular dark chocolate chips for chocolate coverings, dairy and all. I know that all my friends love at least one of the "healthier" goodies that I make. But I also know that possibly all of them prefer the "regular" stuff. Which basically means more dairy and more sugar. I have some boundaries, though. I'll never use hydrogenated fats or corn syrup, even for people who would probably prefer the resulting goodies if I did! And I don't care at all if it means that there are fewer options on the table for me. As I shared in the "know your audience" piece, I derive far more pleasure from preparing and giving the goodies than I do from eating them myself, so I don't care that much whether I can eat them or not. The only thing I really mind is that sometimes I get butter on my fingers, and can never seem to get rid of the smell, and it's a smell I hate almost above all others...

I think this "control" element is a really good thing to bear in mind when you are making goodies and food for people. You can help to ensure that you don't end up eating something you won't feel good from, simply by making sure it's not on the spread. Other people are responsible for their own choices, and are affected differently by the food they eat anyway, so when you put the goodies out, let them enjoy!

Pictured above are two kinds of chocolate-peanut butter fudge. The kind on the right is made with coconut cream and has almonds and craisins through it. The two-layer kind on the left has no nuts and fruits (because two "audience members" don't like those but love the pb-choc thing). They are not my recipes, and I made them solely as expressions of love.

Below are licorice caramels, which I also made last year. This year, it's been so much more humid with all the sleeting and thawing that the caramels are much runnier than last year's. I coated some of them in chocolate and the caramels escaped and oozed through!

When I was making goodies to share with my Naturopath, I did make some carob-ginger macaroons (in the tub on the right below), some white chocolate (bottom right), and some acai truffles (on the plate below) coated in carob chocolate.

It was actually fairly easy to make a carob couverture chocolate using carob and mesquite in place of cacao powder with a typical very low sugar chocolate recipe. It's just a little grittier than cocoa chocolate.

But to be honest, after I'd packaged up the goodies, I looked at what was left and thought "Oh no, all of these are ok for me to eat!" The good thing is, they all keep practically indefinitely. It's not like I need to eat them all now. And some of my regular "audience" might even be willing to try them (although we do have several carob-haters).

 I do think I'm on to something with the pomegranate fondant hearts, though.

 I've posted the picture of the finished product so many times...

If I can remember what I did, I'll definitely post the recipe.

Do you make only goodies that you would eat yourself, or do you make what you know will be appreciated? Am I "pandering" by making goodies I would never dream of eating but I know will be loved?

Reflections on Self-Love - Control; The Middle East; Giveaways

I managed to upload those pictures to my yesterday's post - here's the clamshells and the shell-shaped rock.

Today, Tina asks, 'what things in life might you try to control?' and invites us to see how we get caught up in controlling behaviors, against our highest good.

My name is Ela and I am a control freak! My goodness, this is an appropriate topic! Just this morning, I almost lost all of my feel-good and hard-won equanimity because I noticed while stretching that my thighs were almost touching! I know that chelating makes me retain water, and that it's getting toward that end of the month as well. I know that eating more carbs tends to make you retain water too, and what with it being berry season I have been doing a bit of that too. But man, I was furious and distraught - and now, ashamed! And, even before I'd turned on the computer and read today's Reflection on self- love, I had identified this perturbation and upset as being entirely due to a feeling of lack of control. I want to choose the amount of space between my thighs and to control it and keep it constant.

Part of me recognizes that this is crazy.

But part of me wants to control everything - I want to make sure that everyone is well and happy and balanced; I fix all kinds of goodies for Phil, hoping that he won't eat as many candy bars with trans fats and HFCS and packaging and expensiveness - that's (verging on) controlling too! 

I guess controlling and perfectionism go closely together. It certainly feels like the same kind of territory that I'm traversing when I'm getting freaked out because dinner's late, or whatever.

It hadn't necessarily occurred to me before that being controlling is opposed to loving oneself. But having a fixed idea of how things should be is surely the opposite of accepting. A good thing to ponder. Thanks again to Tina!

9/11 - a somber day of remembrance for everyone, during Rosh Hashanah, no less! I watched a movie last night called 'Etz Limon' - 'Lemon Tree' - (Hebrew and Arabic with English subtitles) about the ways that tensions on the West Bank border intrude into the lives of real people. It was a touching story, sad and apparently insoluble. On a very abstract level, I just enjoyed seeing that familiar territory, hearing Hebrew and Arabic again, feeling my close connection to that part of the world, and yet my removal from its troubles.

Hope everyone's having a great weekend: it's good to remember, but the now continues!

Don't forget my Amazing Grass giveaway - 

and the Almost Vegan Blog is giving away some 'Hail Merry' goodies too!

love to all