Holiday Goodie-Making: To Proselytize or To Pander?

Many people think of the Holidays as a good time to influence their loved ones into making healthier choices by sharing healthy, or healthified, nutritious goodies that will "convert" them. Some go as far as to request their loved ones improve their diet, or even go vegan, in lieu of a gift! Others take the attitude that it's the holidays, there's a glut of all kinds of goodies, junk or not, and people are going to eat what they prefer at this time of the year if no other.

Where do I come down in the debate? If you know me at all, you'll know that I tend to be very "live and let live" about food choices, partly because I recognize that I can't change anyone else's mind, and partly because my own definition of "healthy food" has changed so many times in my life. There's also another element in the equation. When it's the holidays, I tend to get excited and think "Yay! Now's my opportunity to make a huge batch of x really elaborate raw food dish, since I'll have lots of people to eat it! I can make the Tirami-su from Sweet Gratitude or... or..."(no, I haven't made it yet), and multiply that by a lot of ideas, and I'll end up with boxes and boxes of goodies to take everywhere, everyone will get overwhelmed, there will be tons of "mainstream" desserts on the table too, and I'll take home enough leftovers to last for months.

I've now realized that I also need to think about what I want to eat. When you volunteer to make a whole bunch of goodies, you're also volunteering to take a certain amount of control over what's going to be available on the spread. Do I want there to be lots of "Ela-friendly" foods to tempt me? Do I want there to be dairy-free homemade chocolate to tempt me, when I'm already as manic as heck and have barely slept for two weeks, and chocolate pushes my brain chemistry further in that direction? If I use regular chocolate chips instead, they always have a trace of dairy taste that I can't stand, so wouldn't be tempted. If I don't bring it, you can be certain it won't be there otherwise!

And then there's the "know your audience" piece. I think virtually everyone in my "audience" would prefer the regular dark chocolate chips for chocolate coverings, dairy and all. I know that all my friends love at least one of the "healthier" goodies that I make. But I also know that possibly all of them prefer the "regular" stuff. Which basically means more dairy and more sugar. I have some boundaries, though. I'll never use hydrogenated fats or corn syrup, even for people who would probably prefer the resulting goodies if I did! And I don't care at all if it means that there are fewer options on the table for me. As I shared in the "know your audience" piece, I derive far more pleasure from preparing and giving the goodies than I do from eating them myself, so I don't care that much whether I can eat them or not. The only thing I really mind is that sometimes I get butter on my fingers, and can never seem to get rid of the smell, and it's a smell I hate almost above all others...

I think this "control" element is a really good thing to bear in mind when you are making goodies and food for people. You can help to ensure that you don't end up eating something you won't feel good from, simply by making sure it's not on the spread. Other people are responsible for their own choices, and are affected differently by the food they eat anyway, so when you put the goodies out, let them enjoy!

Pictured above are two kinds of chocolate-peanut butter fudge. The kind on the right is made with coconut cream and has almonds and craisins through it. The two-layer kind on the left has no nuts and fruits (because two "audience members" don't like those but love the pb-choc thing). They are not my recipes, and I made them solely as expressions of love.

Below are licorice caramels, which I also made last year. This year, it's been so much more humid with all the sleeting and thawing that the caramels are much runnier than last year's. I coated some of them in chocolate and the caramels escaped and oozed through!

When I was making goodies to share with my Naturopath, I did make some carob-ginger macaroons (in the tub on the right below), some white chocolate (bottom right), and some acai truffles (on the plate below) coated in carob chocolate.

It was actually fairly easy to make a carob couverture chocolate using carob and mesquite in place of cacao powder with a typical very low sugar chocolate recipe. It's just a little grittier than cocoa chocolate.

But to be honest, after I'd packaged up the goodies, I looked at what was left and thought "Oh no, all of these are ok for me to eat!" The good thing is, they all keep practically indefinitely. It's not like I need to eat them all now. And some of my regular "audience" might even be willing to try them (although we do have several carob-haters).

 I do think I'm on to something with the pomegranate fondant hearts, though.

 I've posted the picture of the finished product so many times...

If I can remember what I did, I'll definitely post the recipe.

Do you make only goodies that you would eat yourself, or do you make what you know will be appreciated? Am I "pandering" by making goodies I would never dream of eating but I know will be loved?

Driving on Ice--Fear! Accident Prone?

In a dangerous situation, if you had to choose between an able-bodied novice and a slightly crippled expert to be your pilot, which would you pick?

I think most people would choose the expert, right? It was that thinking that helped me not to feel too humiliated on the way home from Anchorage, when I had to pull the truck over in the dark and pouring rain, on the icy road, and let temporarily-one-eyed Phil take over the wheel. He's been driving on ice since before I was born, and this is only my second year of doing so. Even though there was little traffic on the road, everyone else was driving fast (part of the reason why there were so many wrecks on the road?) and I simply couldn't make myself go more than about 45mph. Even though my eyes are working fine and my night-vision is better than Phil's even on a good day, it was better to have him take over.

I was so scared! All the way to Anchorage on Sunday, driving on ice most of the way, I was so afraid, I felt sick to my stomach. There had been a couple inches of snow on the road, so with the recent warmer weather, the rain turned to ice as it hit the surface snow, and then got warmed and churned up by vehicles' wheels, and there was glare ice everywhere and constant little bumps and eminences and off-center ice-blobs to take just one wheel somewhere you didn't want it to go.  And I already mentioned the fast driving and the several badly mangled wrecks we saw en route.

How do you handle the kind of fear that is constant, persistent, impervious to reasoning and constantly being reinforced by the little slips and bumps and reminders that you're driving on a sheet of ice? Deep breathing helps a little bit.  Getting out onto the frozen lake and practicing getting the truck out of a spin helps a bit. I guess, like Averie mentioned recently, it's important to take on a learning curve. I always seem to be learning new things, and am living up here in a place that offers lots of new learning experiences. That's what mistakes are, right? As with most 'physical' things, I'm not a superstar as a driver, but on ordinary surfaces I'm perfectly good. Probably B+ rather than grade A, though. On ice, I'm not so hot. But if I can get to be a decent driver on ice, maybe it'll make my overall driving so much the better.

Any scary stories to share or any advice on how to do better besides practice-practice-practice? Or on how to overcome the fear?

Accident Prone?

I have to pay attention here, as we work through the winter and I continue to tweak diet and self-experiment. I used to be so very accident-prone, probably due to chronic undereating and then fruitarianism. When I started eating raw eggs, the problem went away blindingly quickly. Now, having been vegan once again for a year or so, I seem to be sliding toward accident prone a little this past few weeks.

It's not all my fault! These coffee beans all over the floor (yes, I can't stand coffee but I make it for Phil every day) were in the freezer compartment in a non-tempered jar and as soon as I grabbed the jar out, it broke everywhere!

Not the greatest start to the morning, and I'm glad that I quickly realized that the jar broke spontaneously, rather than beating up on myself for dropping it! I was left with the lid in my hand and shards of glass all over the inside of the fridge.

And then I busted my beloved paring knife that I've had since HI days breaking off some chocolate to melt...

Seriously busted--even the handle! Phil said even he has never broken one of those knives, and he's a notorious toolbuster. That's also not an 'accident-prone' thing, though: maybe just a little overzealous!

Now, the chocolate indulgence of the holiday season is one of my prime suspects for my current less-than-optimal coordination. I didn't eat much--as I shared here, I didn't have appetite for it. But I did eat a little chocolate every day for a good week or two, and that is too much and too often for me. So what was I doing busting my knife with chocolate?

Well, I was making another enormous batch of the chocolate fruit and nut bars from Sweet Gratitude, winging it and using slightly different ingredients as well as low-sugarizing it, for Phil's daughter.

I used dried blueberries instead of gojis, and oats and hazelnuts instead of almonds, and tweaked the ratio of other seeds a bit too. Part of the reason for the oats is just to balance the macronutrients a bit, and honestly part of the reason was so that I can't eat them! I can't do oats.

Do you ever purposely make a yummy treat that you can't have? (I loved these too much first time through in the Ela-friendly version).

Oh, but don't they look good? It's a gift that I know will be appreciated, and I'll probably save a few for Phil too, because he said they tasted great!

For myself, I'll see if laying off the chocolate and upping the algae helps with my general coordination. After many months of eating lots of spirulina and chlorella every day, I haven't been eating quite so much of them recently. I'll also continue to monitor how I feel with cutting way back on PUFAs (post to come about that soon) and eating more starch.
Any other suggestions?
Stay tuned for a product review!

A Conversation about Ground Rules for Nutritional Research and Self-Experimentation

I will always follow nutritional research with great interest and have been doing so for far too long to expect that I'll ever think all the questions have been answered. Within the limitations of food allergies and ethical and aesthetic considerations, I am also likely to continue to experiment within my own body, to experience potential benefits for myself.

Important caveat: I am not a research scientist! My body and home are my only laboratory and I have no control subjects. When I change something in my diet, other changes often coincide, whether a change in season or activity level or something else. That's why I started out by saying 'I follow nutritional research' rather than 'I research nutrition.' Yes, what I do is a species of research, but it's the compiling work of reading what others have written about their findings, as opposed to being in the crucible and witnessing in person.

I am not alone in this. Many of us are keenly interested in nutrition research, whether it's because we're trying to heal health challenges, lose weight, want to 'be right,' 'know the truth,' or simply find these amazing physical selves that we inhabit endlessly fascinating. New data are always coming to light, and the best sentence I've read recently about the whole arena is "If you aren't confused by health and nutrition information, then you haven't studied the subject long enough, or deeply enough." This sums it up beautifully.

I wrote recently about how some of my recent readings have been helping me to overcome my fear of carbs and others are prompting me to drastically reduce my intake of PUFA's, including 'friendly' omega-3's. Before I go into detail about those readings, I wanted to start a conversation about ground rules for nutritional research: to build a BS-meter, if you like. I'd love to hear your thoughts too, so please chime in. Here's what I have for starters:

1) Always understand the researcher's motivation/where they're coming from/who's paying them. This is a crucial point, and sadly banal to anyone who has dug deeper on certain very open-and-shut-looking studies, only to find that they are being funded by the industry that profits from sales of the food in question. However, when you're reading someone else's research, or testimony, or anecdotal evidence, you can never know all of their motivations. It's not only in the 'Arts' that emotions and interpersonal relationships can muddy the waters. It's not only in the blatant 'industry-funded' cases that you need to beware.
Another circumstance in which I have learned to be careful how literarily I take the findings presented is that of what might be called the quasi-religious evangelists. You've all come across them: the folks who were at death's door and had tried everything and were sick and depraved and deprived and obese and godless and cancerous and...and... And then they saw the light and attained salvation and became healthy and happy and lean and enlightened. And now everyone else must see that light too: because there can't be more than one 'right way,' right? So since I'm 'right,' you all must be 'wrong,' because I can't possible be wrong! I'm parodying slightly, and I admire such people their singleminded, monolithic conviction, especially if is has brought them ease, healing and good health.
However, I cannot believe and never have believed that there is the same road to salvation for everyone: we're all starting from different places to begin with, so how can there be? Of course, sometimes the saved-evangelists become sellers-of-products also, and then they're doubly to be doubted.

2) Always be aware of your own motivation/where you're coming from/who's 'paying' you
It's easy to assume that we're so openminded, we're always reading, researching... In fact, we might be more objective than the actual experimenters because we keep all the research before our eyes from all sources, rather than being pinned into one niche.
So I thought, and then my Naturopath suggested that the entity 'paying' for my research is an anorexic teenager who doesn't want to give up her kid-sized pants! Given my history of serially and totally demonizing every food group under the sun on the basis of research I've read, I have to admit he has a point. If I'm totally honest, I'm always reading to see 'will doing this make me lose weight?' whether it's appropriate for me or (actually) not. I'm never going to stop following the research, so for myself I just need to beware that that is a bias in my own reporting/evaluating.

3) Make sure you're comparing like with like
It sounds like common sense, but it's surprising how often this one is violated. If one study involved 10 obese women over a period of seven days relying on self-reporting and another study involved 300 lean young men over a period of six months in ward conditions, drawing major conclusions from the differences in the findings is tenuous, to say the least. And related to this:

4) Beware of short-term conclusions
It takes seven years for all the cells in your body to be changed over completely. The endocrine system works powerful forces in favor of 'status quo.' Both when reading research and when experimenting on yourself, don't dismiss something if it doesn't show 'instant results,' and by the same token, don't assume you've found the holy grail if huge results obtain within a week. Wait and see, and keep reading the research in the meantime.

5) If you look far enough, you'll find support for every dietary theory and its opposite, so don't get too attached and read both sides of the debate
This is back to Matt Stone's excellent comment above, and is why we need ground rules/bs meter in the first place. Similarly, if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

6) When experimenting on yourself, listen to your body 
Yes, this one's for me in particular but I know there are others out there. In fact, in the cleansing/fasting/purifying camp there's a certain heroism attached to going through horrendous 'detox' challenges that sound somewhat like biblical plagues, with a similarly biblical salvation at the end of it, at least as the stories go. But while acknowledging (with 4) above) that things take time, if something you're trying is making you feel awful continuously, consider that it may not be appropriate and that it might be time to do something different. Our bodies are so complex, the research is so fragmented and partial: you may not know everything that is going on and can sometimes do damage. Having read some more research on the 'other side' of the 'carbs are the devil' debate, it horrifies me that 'back then,' I persisted in my 'very low carb' experiment despite problems I was experiencing that are blatantly indicative of exacerbation of the thyroid/adrenal problems I had already. Especially considering that I was fairly lean to begin with, I did myself--and everyone around me--no favors at all.

Related to this, when self-experimenting, be aware of how suggestible your body is to what you've read. It's amazing how easy it is to persuade yourself that you're experiencing something as a result of eating a certain way if you read enough times that you should be! Disconcerting, actually: I don't know about you, but I don't feel like my interest in this subject is born of an urge to conform?! 

7) Recognize your own contradictory beliefs and accept that similar are embodied in research
I hold contradictory beliefs. I'm perfectly comfortable believing that animal protein is highly beneficial in some bodies, and might even be so in mine. I also believe that eating it makes me feel sick, and I know that I don't want to eat it. I believe that wild meat is more 'natural' food than farmed meat and that my husband's killing and eating bears is participation in the local ecosystem, but I also believe that wild animals are subject to hardship (including disease, as many 'natural diet' advocates deny) and that well-cared-for farm animals can have a healthy, happy life, leaving aside the ethics of the endgame tradeoff. I no longer believe that 'fat makes you fat,' but I know that when bears are nearing hibernation, they will pound as much fat as they can obtain (although they have been known to raid freezers up here and take all the berries and disdain the meat)!

grey whale on our beach this summer, 'degloved' by orcas

And related to this point:

8) Celebrate diversity and keep exploring
This game never ends, but you might begin to discern general tendencies. You might even get a general idea of what 'works' in your body and why you think it does, why that makes sense. Just don't assume that what works for you is going to work for everyone else: life is far more fun than that!

This is just a start and I don't want to be too verbose on Sunday night. But I would love to hear others' thoughts, so please share! I will update this to reflect important additions.
much love

Reflections on Self Love: Eating Naturally

Another overly busy day, so again this is going to be a brief check-in with reflections on self love. And we might take our postponed trip across the bay tomorrow, fog permitting, so I don't even know if I'll get to post tomorrow, but I'll surely try and read the post before we leave so that I can reflect on it.

(latest batch of no-sugar cookies, super-simple, chia-sweet, flax meal, shredded coconut, ground walnuts, a little carob) 

Well, I love the wonderful serendipity of the ways that these posts feed into one another! Today's post is about eating naturally and finding a comfortable relationship with food and how to make dietary choices. Tina asks, "Have you experienced any shifts in how you view food? What are the biggest influences in your food choices?"

And here I was at the naturopath's for a good chunk of time this morning, and we talked quite a bit about some of that. Not what I eat but how I eat. I've been frustrated because of feeling like I've gained some weight; he says that I'm approaching a healthy weight. But he also says that because of my long starvation history, my body's pathways will be predisposed to store fuel as fat rather than build muscles, simply because storing fat is efficient and it's used to expecting 'famine.' The important take-home message was that the longer I continue not to starve myself, for any reason or pretext, the sooner my metabolism will get back on track, and so the easier it will be to build muscle and lose weight. He warned me that if I go back to self-starvation as soon as we're finished with the whole series of chelation/yeast killing/etc, I'll go straight back to square one with the metabolic and hormonal problems. 

The sane side of myself also knows that I'm into the 'water retaining' end of the month (plus chelating bloats me) and he added that women with hormonal imbalances tend to retain more water at those times, that I could bet on a fluctuation of a good 5-10lbs! Since I'm not very big to begin with, that's a huge fluctuation. And it's another thing that will even out, the longer I continue to eat regularly. 

So, that ties in with yesterday's reflection on perseverance also! To keep on eating regularly, no matter what the 'demon' says, no matter what, and to trust that my metabolism will right itself, that I will continue to be able to exercise more, that eventually I'll feel comfortable in my body.

I'm working on a big shift in how I view food: from a scary, deceptive enemy to a kind of medicine and sometimes a source of pleasure. Most of the 'pleasure' foods I make are for other people and I don't partake, but just recently, especially since having the Vita-Mix, I've been wanting to enjoy food more.

My food choices are influenced by… that could be a long list. Fresh is important.

Plant-based is important. How it feels in my tummy is very important. A big shift in my food choices has been toward fat and protein and away from sugar. I used to fear fat and avoid it completely, and even though my guts aren't great now, I feel so much better minimizing sugar than I did when I ate almost exclusively fruit. Sometimes I'm drawn to something just because it tastes good, but I've had so many bad experiences with things that tasted good in the moment and made me sick afterwards that I'm wary of that most of the time. But if there are things that taste good but that also have medicinal qualities that I'm aware of (like fermented foods with probiotics, spices with antioxidants and healing powers, etc), I'm much more likely to really go with them.

Thanks for reading - please share your own ideas too!