A change in status from "pending" to "confirmed" is a small transformation of sorts, and it fits with something I've been writing obsessively about recently: the whole concept of crossing from one side to another, of having one's perceptions altered by which side of the glass one stands on, of living a life in many parallel worlds.
One of the most important ways this plays out is in the parallel worlds of wellness and sickness. Of course, I'm not the first to call wellness and sickness parallel worlds--Susan Sontag and Virginia Woolf both do so. But it's interesting to me that at times in the past decade I have resisted getting medical help because of fear that my status as a sojourner in the world of the sick might make me less attractive as an "American," might somehow jeopardize my presence in the country. Ironically, looking back, as long as I flew under the medical radar, I was also somehow under the radar in terms of full-fledged participation in mainstream society, although my volunteerism has always been exemplary.
At this point, as I become sanctioned as a permanent resident, I'd say I'm contributing fully, if unconventionally, to the mainstream society. I teach college, and do other freelance work. I'm in an MFA program. I'm active in my local writing community and other communities. And in order to be able to imagine doing any of this, I see a Naturopath and a therapist, I take medications, I admit to some scary diagnoses. In order to have both my feet in the world of mainstream American society, I have to acknowledge that I have one foot in the world of the well and one foot in the world of the sick.
Given the "good orderly direction" with which this Permanent Residency has been accepted, I have to accept that I'm grateful--for all of it, even the sick parts.
OK, here's the RECIPE--you can stop scrolling now!
I make energy bars for Phil on a regular basis. He loves this one recipe that consists of peanut butter and honey boiled together, with oats, protein powder, nuts and dried fruit stirred in, and many of his friends are hooked on it too. But I love variety, so occasionally I try out a different recipe. This one I adapted from the Beyond the Peel blog. I made changes so that Phil would love it better. But creature of habit that he is, Phil didn't love them, and both he and a friend of his who love the bars I usually make said that these tasted more decadent and so they couldn't eat as many. The truth is, these are much "healthier" than the regular bars, so perhaps they're more satiating! However, two other friends, Terry (who's visiting for the weekend) and David, adored these bars.
I'm sharing my version of Beyond the Peel's beautiful Chocolate Banana Power Bars for Terry and David. These bars are gluten and grain free with no leavening, perfect for Passover (although I'm the only Jew around here!) They can easily be vegan and dairy free too.
Ingredients
1/2 cup hazelnuts, processed to a meal in food processor, set aside
1/2 cup prunes, pitted
1/2 cup peanut butter
1 ripe banana
1/2 cup coconut flour
1/4 cup chocolate flavored protein powder of choice
1/4 cup melted coconut oil
1/4 cup honey (or coconut nectar, agave, maple)
3 T chia meal (or flax meal)
100g dark chocolate + 1 T palm shortening (or other non-hydrogenated shortening--keeps the chocolate shiny), melted
How-to
Preheat oven to 350, grease a 9x9 pan.
Whiz prunes, pb, banana in the food processor until well incorporated.
Add the flours and protein powder, process; add the honey or syrup and melted coconut oil, process; add the chia meal, process
The texture will be thick and sticky.
Scoop the batter into your prepared pan, and smooth it down flat with your hand or a spatula, making it level.
Bake for around 20 minutes--this is just to firm them up, so the timing is not sensitive.
Let the bars cool in the fridge or freezer before covering with the melted chocolate.
I find it helpful to slice into sixteen bars before the chocolate firms up.
Aren't they pretty?
Happy Holidays! I'll be back with a conversational post tomorrow.
