Culture within, Culture without

Water kefir on the left, milk kefir (more on that later) on the right. Proofs from the dictionary project on bottom.

Yes, I do some of my editing work in the kitchen. Sometimes that's the most time I spend in there of a day. This isn't really a tangent: on the subject of "me in you, you in me," I've been thinking about microorganisms within and without, and of course that takes me to words. "Symbiotic." "Commensal." "Parasite."

It's now understood that nonhuman cells outnumber human cells in our "own" bodies by ten to one. These microorganisms form colonies that can lobby with powerful demands, so that it can be literally true that we are possessed/overtaken by influences within us but not of us. "My bugs made me do it!"

Reflected on the outside: my kitchen, no doubt, is full of uncontained bugs I can't see. I welcome the spiders when I see them, benign weavers and cleaners. But I was horrified by the roaches that showed up. In my kitchen, I also contain and feed several colonies on purpose and strive to ensure they get fed correctly. It's another kind of gardening, in a way, and I do it at least as much to cultivate (pun intended) my spirit relationship with microorganisms as I do to consume the products of bacterial/yeast ferments.
Aside from the two kefirs, I have more kombucha cultures than I can manage (give me a shout if you want one!) -- enough to give some of them experimental diets, like coffee instead of tea (far right) (so far so good). This culture's ancestor moved with me from Hawaii over six years ago, and it seems to be happy back in a warm climate, although I left many of its offspring happy with happy owners back in Alaska.

Both kefir and kombucha cultures are called "SCOBY"s -- an acronym for "symbiotic culture of bacteria and yeast." Which I guess we are, as humans, too.
Taking a walk on the wild side, here are two veggie krauts: napa cabbage/onion/ginger, and daikon radish. In their own juices with a little sea salt, these are consumed almost overnight in this climate by wild yeasts/bacteria (i.e. I didn't add a culture; bacteria in the environment came and feasted) and become crisp, sour-sharp, without the overwhelming pungency of those sulfurous vegetables when raw. They have to go in the fridge at this point to avoid "rotter" bactera taking over and composting them.

Sandor Katz, the great fermentation guru, points out that no American has ever died from eating wildly- or home-fermented foods--if something's really "gone bad," your taste buds will protect you.

On the other hand, many "humans," American and otherwise, have died of organisms growing out of control within their bodies, and far more feel helplessly identified with addictions and cravings that are not truly of themselves. There is a way out.

• Whatever I am doing at any moment is practice.
• Whatever I practice I get better at.
• What am I practicing now?

Likewise, 

• Whatever I feed thrives.
• What am I feeding now?

Back to the kefir, since I don't do dairy, I had a problem figuring out what to feed the milk kefir grains. I quickly figured out that they need protein (a la casein in milk) as well as sugar (a la lactose in milk). Soy milk worked great. but I mostly avoid soy too; an almond milk fortified with protein also worked well (and of course I need to get back in the kitchen habit and make my own). But then I almost killed the kefir grains when I got back from my trip by feeding them unsweetened protein almond milk. The end product smelled bad, the grain colony dwindled. They made their unhappiness clear.

A dance away from sugar seems a good idea for me right now (more on this soon), but that doesn't alter the requirements of this age-old ferment culture. Even feeding the kombucha on coffee as mentioned above, or hibiscus tea or green tea instead of black tea as I also do, and with maple syrup instead of sugar, doesn't violate this concept: the kombucha culture needs some sort of simple sugar and a tannin-rich tea medium. Coffee, hibiscus, and other grades of tea all have plenty of tannins; maple or even coconut sugar are simple enough.

Would that it were so simple to figure out the correct fuel mix for the SCOBY that is each unique human, to keep the good bugs happy and keep the detrimental or composter bugs from taking over.

More on that, and on those words up top (symbiotic, commensal, parasite), next time.

• Whatever I am doing at any moment is practice.
• Whatever I practice I get better at.
• What am I practicing now?

A Funny Story for New Year's Day: ChiaBurst (Don't Try This At Home!)

Welcome 2012!
Today got away from me after a late night last night, so I don't yet have intentions to share. I do have a funny story I'd love to share, though, of how Phil and I ended up with our New Year's explosions a few days early.

It's been below zero Fahrenheit today, and having blithely mentioned yesterday that our water pipe had only frozen twice this winter, it's frozen again, and has been all day. Of course we headed out for a beach hike nonetheless, right after a late breakfast.

The ice encrustations are stunning.

It was almost too cold to take photographs at all, especially as it involved removing a mitten and having just a thin glove between my hand and the icy air. The ocean was literally steaming, so much warmer than the land... In weather like this, btw, it is so advantageous to be a guy, in terms of not having to uncover so much when the bladder demands. Oooh tmi, but my gosh it was a tough decision to relieve myself!

It's a strange experience to go out hiking for exercise and then to need to spend twenty minutes bouncing on the rebounder just to warm up (despite having worn multiple layers, including two hats and two pairs of gloves).

Here's my funny story. Last time we went to Anchorage, I treated myself to three new flavors of kombucha, with chia seeds in them, no less, that were on sale. I loved the idea--super-filling for few calories, delicious, good bacteria... And I enjoyed the raspberry and grape flavors that day and the next.

Then, I did what I often do--I hoarded the cherry flavor. And where are you supposed to store kombucha? In the fridge. Where did I hoard mine? In the pantry, right where the sun shines in when it's actually out...

A few evenings ago, I happened to notice agitated movements of the chia seeds inside that bottle, and thought I'd better open it. I opened the lid a little way and of course it all fizzed up. So, slowly, slowly, I opened, it fizzed, I opened, it fizzed...and I noticed that the lid was actually getting tighter. It got to the point that I couldn't move it at all, even with a cloth over it.

So I called in  the man. But even mighty Phil couldn't shift it, to his great surprise. So...he went and got the pipe wrench. And then he went and got his biggest pipe wrench. And he cranked on that bottle and there was an almighty bang!

And now there were chia seeds all over the entire cabin! There was only one ounce of liquid remaining in the bottle. Zone of greatest impact was our (muslin) ceiling right above:

That's not a blurry photo--it's chia seeds ground zero on a sloping muslin ceiling! But the centrifugal coverage was just incredible. There were seeds (with purple juice around them) on every single window, including those in the loft. There were chia seeds on our comforter up in the loft, on our clothes on the backs of the chairs, on the floor, on the lights, on the phone, on every blade of the ceiling fan (which wasn't running at the moment, thank goodness). Thankfully only one library book got maybe two seeds on it. Thankfully the computers were closed up.

Thankfully, too, the only pain it caused was from laughter: Phil and I stared at each other in silence for a couple stunned seconds after the explosion, and then simultaneously busted out laughing so hard, we were soon doubled over. As we worked to clean up (which needed a ladder), we laughed some more.

Phil pointed out that this should teach me not to hoard things but to enjoy them when they come. Probably good for me to reflect on that, but I enjoy just laughing about it too. I hope it's funny for you as well!