Sometimes people have a greater degree of muscle fatigue two days after a major workout than they do directly after: I'm wondering whether my emotional and energetic perturbation of today, two days after my huge-drive-day, is a species of that. I've been feeling a sense of almost flat-out panic all day, as if I'd drunk a whole jug of strong coffee (and I've had nothing close to caffeine, not even cacao, in a couple weeks). There's just no time to do anything, is what it feels like.
What to do when feeling like that? We lay in until 8am, and by the time I was up and fixing breakfast, I was so low-blood-sugared that I was just losing it, and never quite recovered. It's an awkward bind, having so little leeway in bodyclock schedule. And there's so much shame around it for me too, after all those years that I'd just push myself on, often not eat breakfast until noon, etc. Phil was so sweet, held me and hugged me and encouraged me to plan details of my Fairbanks trip two weeks hence to mitigate some of that anxiety.
I found myself singing 'Love Invincible' from Michael Franti's 'Everyone Deserves Music.'
which was right on for that. Sometimes singing helps just per se. Any other advice on how to come down from crazymind?Like I said, it could just be slightly delayed reaction to the kind of trip that's probably pushing 'too much' for me at the moment. I think that the mercury chelation I'm currently undergoing is also affecting my mood. Twelve weeks of it to go - good to try it out at home to see whether I could do it when in Fairbanks or if it would spoil my time there!
For our hike in the hills, we followed one of Phil's favorite winter ski trails. It's just a few hundred feet higher than where we live, but in this zone of intense microclimates there are many plants that are less 'far along' than where we are - dandelions still flowering, roses just budding. Also, some plants that we don't even have. We took it at a fairly leisurely pace and we both enjoyed stopping and taking pictures with our new camera.
Since we probably need to go home and continue insulating the ceiling of our cabin, I'm not going to try and post them all but here are a few.
These don't even grow where we live: they are a gorgeous little trailing native berry called nagoonberry (cool name too!) - just flowering here:
In late August, they make delicious, sweet-tart berries, a little like raspberries but better, but so tiny and sparse!
At the opposite end of the scale from edibles, this false hellebore is a potent neurotixin but looks like a beautiful sculpture:
We passed a few abandoned homesteads back of beyond there, and an inhabited homestead with a tepee in front and what looked like a big garden. This old homestead wasn't old enough to lack a power hookup, but looks pretty dilapidated - check out the bent chimney!
Love and happiness to everyone - I have to go.
