Quick Post - Reflections on Self-Love: Numbers

Hey everyone!

I keep saying I may not get a chance to post, with our journey coming up. Yesterday, I thought I might not get anything posted, and ended up posting a full-on recipe! Well, today's is going to be much briefer, as I'm not packed yet (piles of supplements, no-sugar bars, etc, all over the place) and we're out of here in less than four hours, but Tina's reflection on self-love for today is so important that I needed to share a few words also.

It froze here last night!! And the bear that keeps hanging around our place and our neighbors' places was right up on the porch last night. Phil heard it, opened the door and it practically walked in. When he slammed the door, it didn't even bolt, just walked off slowly. Unfortunately, last night it also dug up compost we'd been burying, which will be a major incentive for it to hang around here more, rather than foraging for its natural foods farther afield. Sadly, we'll have to take our last batch of food scraps to the dump on our way out of town.

Ok, so reflections on self-love.  Tina just says it so beautifully today. While numbers are useful tools, they can take over our lives and we can get caught in the trap of measuring everything.

I can't do better than just quoting what she says: "We need to stop using numbers as a measuring stick for who we are. You can't put love for others on a scale. You can't put passion in a bank account. You can't put fun and enjoyment on a tally sheet. You can't put friendship in a spreadsheet. We must look past numbers to the bigger picture of what makes up our lives."

Amen sister! So well said. She asks, "Have you ever been caught in a number trap?" - and, crucial follow-up question - "What could you have focused on instead of the numbers?"

Ahh - is there anyone for whom this doesn't ring true? Whether it's numbers on a scale, numbers of dollars in the bank account, or even numbers of heads of cabbage you managed to get past the slugs... It's a dangerous place in which to locate our self-worth.

These days, I'm on a self-imposed (but also naturopath-ordered) 'scale strike.' I don't get on the scale. I'm hypersensitive to the smallest fluctuation in my size anyway, and jumping on a scale would invite me to focus on that and obsess about it, make myself miserable. I love Tina's question about what one could focus on instead. For me, part of not getting on the scale should be gauging my energy levels, gauging how happy and loving I'm feeling, being grateful for all that I'm able to do now, rather than tormenting myself over whether my thighs have gotten close together.

Numbers are so alluring, because they give an illusion of control. But it really is an illusion. You can know this, and be controlled by it at the same time. For a long time, I literally could not eat something, unless I had put it on the scale first to calculate its exact number of calories. And I'm talking even a piece of lettuce! I could be too exhausted to hold my head up, but no, I couldn't eat the banana in my backpack until I'd somehow gotten myself home to weigh it. What insanity! And even at the time, I knew that the scale wasn't accurate; I knew that every ounce of banana couldn't possibly have the same number of calories: you can taste how much sweeter some are than others, and there's a reason for that. And yet, the numbers, the illusion of control, ended up controlling me.

It wasn't a joyful kind of existence, and I was stuck there for too long. I really hope not too many other people have to experience that.

OK - I must go pack!
lots of love to all.

Getting Ready To Go! No-Sugar Halvah Bar; Reflections on Self-Love - Body Parts #4

We're leaving here after lunch tomorrow to start our journey! And I was on the road all day yesterday. Had company for breakfast, having company for dinner, I'm trying to get everything packed and figure out all the food I'm taking - it's going to be a hectic couple of days after this. I hope I'll get to blog, on self-love at least, tomorrow and Monday, but it may not be possible.

I went back and added the photos to yesterday's post - not spectacular but maybe they add a bit, at least.

Phil's daughter is coming to dinner, and she's avoiding sugar at the moment, so I whipped this up for her (I get to have a bit of dessert too when she's on her diet!)

It's a halvah bar (guess I connected with my Mediterranean roots). The base is: 

1/3 cup sesame seeds, 

1/3 cup shredded coconut

1/3 cup golden flax meal

4 tablespoons xylitol,

2 tablespoons coconut oil,

pinch salt

couple drops water

processed until crumbing up, then pressed into loaf pan.

Topping is:

1/2 cup soaked sesame seeds,

1/2 cup water

2 tablespoons lime juice

4 tablespoons xylitol

pinch of salt

piece of vanilla bean

good dash of ceylon cinnamon

blended in Vita-Mix until smooth; then add:

1 tablespoon cacao butter

3 tablespoons coconut oil.

This was completely  off the top of my head, made within minutes of hearing that she's coming to dinner.

I hope she'll like it. Does it sound good to you?

Reflections on self-love: it's come around again! Time to reflect with gratitude and love on four more body parts. Tina asks, "What are you thankful for from your body today? Try and think of something different." I'm embarrassed that this is so hard for me - feel like I'm being a little drama queen.

I actually asked Phil for some help with choosing some loved body parts.

One suggestion of his that I liked (and wasn't x-rated!) was the little notch between my two collarbones, above my sternum, where he can sometimes see my pulse. What a great spot to pick. It is like a keystone of an arch - so many things meet there. It's also right at my throat chakra, to do with vocalization and self-expression. It's close to my thyroid, which has had such a hard time and so much mistreatment, and which is just about hanging in there with all the help and supplementation that it's getting.

OK - where else? Well, I should give my adrenals a little shoutout - they are troopers. It's probably remarkable that they work at all! As we're about to go into the stress of a long journey and being away from home, I need to make sure that I'm especially nice to them and not get tempted to push myself too hard. A good moment to remember gratitude to them.

And finally...um.... well, actually, maybe this is corny, since I've featured my eyes in an earlier 'body parts' post, but I've always liked my eyebrows! They are dark, full and straight, and give good definition to my eyesockets. At their inner tips (nearer my nose), the hairs stand up straight, and then grow horizontally for the rest. I used to enjoy looking at those vertical hairs when I was a little kid, wondering how they did it! I've never plucked them in my life. I like how they are so long and straight, whereas many people have half-moon-shaped eyebrows (which looks just fine on them).

(It was so cold this morning but then the sun came out - Phil took this at lunchtime: the sun is in my eyes and you can see my slight green smoothie mustache!)