The View From Here/Up For This Week

The View From Here

It's not quite 9am and I'm in Anchorage and am sitting outside! In the sunshine! (It's about 40 degrees.) Again, my journey started at 2am but this time I was riding with a friend who is a professional driver. Carpooling, both of us with 10am appointments in the big town, both need to be back home by this evening. Big day. 

It's thawing everywhere here (which is not to deny that there's still a lot of snow, especially up high) and light until almost 11pm. There was a faint glimmer of light in the sky even at 2am when our journey started! May now - getting pretty close to that time of midnight sun. The snowshoe hare are turning dark brown - they were snowy white all winter to merge with the snow. Ptarmigans do the same thing. Amazing how their bodies know to do that. I saw canada geese picking in the thawing bogs and swans on Tern Lake. The air is getting more melodiously textured every day, it seems - hermit thrushes, song sparrows, golden crown sparrows, warblers… Oh, and those sandhill cranes with their throaty, prehistoric rattle. 

Up For This Week

We had dinner with our neighbors on Saturday night and they had a friend over playing Celtic harp. I seem to have been feeling a little better since then (was in a pit of depression since the accident on the road) - I've been away from that kind of music so long but it does strike a deep chord in me.

What have you found can lift you out of a depression?

I'd love to hear about that from everyone who has a story and to write about it some more this week.

I'll try to take some more pictures too, although that camera is really the worst - but with the green filling in so fast you can practically watch it grow, it makes taking pictures seem really tempting.

I'd like to do some more talking about words this week, and some kind of food talk, although I haven't even yet decided what.

Happy May to everybody - May everybody be happy!

Pictures and rhymes

They say a picture speaks a thousand words,

but 'blooming willow' here requires its caption

and who can photo major or minor thirds?

this frozen lake's known better with description.

Perhaps you can see what I had for lunch

but this won't tell my joy to find radicchio

as for the coconut cheese, I have a hunch,

its whiteish, milky look could easily trick you

without my explanation - and who'd know

these bees had waited, jammed by regulations,

to fly north to Alaskan homes and so

begin their cautious willow pollinations?

Bees in the airport, no sleep, blizzard's cruel glory

A picture speaks, but not the total story.

*****

Wordstalks 6: Mud Boils

Crayfish boils, crab boils, shrimp boils (chitterling struts, clam bakes, pasta feeds) potato boils? Brussels sprout boils? Mud boils?

Gum boils, leg boils, (tooth abscesses, blood blisters,) mud boils?

Obviously, it doesn't belong to the first category, which refer to social events featuring the boiling (or other preparation) of said food item.

Perhaps it comes closer to the second category I could think of, featuring an uncomfortable eruption on the skin. Except in this case, the skin is that of the earth. Well, the earth is our body too, right?

This is a 'mud boil.' 

Well, actually, it's several mud boils all conglomerated together through our slow learning and continual attempting to park the truck where we normally park it! This is what happens when all that ice that has been holding the soil rigid for so many months melts, water running everywhere, insufficient gravel to sluice away the water fast enough and to sustain the weight of a half-ton truck, packed clay, compressed moisture, pustule-like eruptions of brobdingnagian proportions!

A new word, or phrasal word, on me. I needed to hear it twice: forgot it after the first time: the best I could recall was 'mud blister,' further proof that I'd instantly filed it under the second of my two categories above: I didn't come out with 'mud strut' after all!

No-Sugar Mint-Chocolate 'Bark'/'Fudge' Recipe, Phil's Bear Hunt, Ingredient Notes

Phil's gone on a bear-hunt today! We got up early to get him loaded and launched at the harbor. We saw two moose on the way there, one great with calf, the other a skinny yearling. I felt a little sacrilegious, but I was so relieved not to be going on the trip! The whole undertaking of going across the bay in his little tiny inflatable boat is so arduous. Stuffing multiple drybags full of equipment and warm clothing under the bow, then loading up fuel tanks, anchor, motor (which all by itself is significantly heavier than me), bundling up in multiple layers to withstand the cold of being flush with the ocean. 

It reminded me of all the times that we went off like that last year, and how exhausted I would get from all the hauling and lifting! I really need to work on reminding myself of what wonderful adventures we had too, hiking along remote trails, watching unusual wildlife, encountering bears, eating early spring greenery…Being flush with the ocean means encountering sea otters, seals, all kinds of seaducks, sometimes even whales, at close quarters, which is a unique experience every time. But Phil asked me to pump up the keel of the boat, which has a slow leak, before launch, and that alone together with a little equipment stowage was enough for me that I had to lay down when I got home.

So, it seems like a good day, although I intended to do this last week, to share my more stimulating no-sugar fudge/bark recipe.  Since the naturopath told me that I should be eating a half cup of coconut oil a day(!!), I've been focusing more on these fudge/bark type snacks than on energy bars. There's no way I'm eating that much a day, but at least a part of me wants to try. The recipe follows the same format as my 'celebratory fudge' that I shared earlier, except that now I'm using exclusively coconut oil instead of a coconut/cacao butter mixture. This is just for my specific needs at the moment: if you want something more room-temperature-stable, feel free to add some cacao butter.

My problem with this recipe that I'm sharing today is that it tastes too good! I have no appetite at the moment and this is the only thing that I eat that I want to eat more of. But its main flavors are cacao and peppermint, both of which are somewhat stimulating, and so I'm afraid of creating more crashing and burning for my wiped-out adrenals with it. 

Yesterday, I created another one that appeals to my tastebuds without the stimulation: a cardamom/almond/sesame based one that appeals to my Mediterranean nostalgia. 

But the peppermint/cacao one is too good not to share, so here it is:

Mint-Chocolate Bark

1 c coconut oil, melted

1 t stevia (white powder)

generous pinch of salt
generous pinch of vanilla powder

6-7 drops peppermint oil (or 1/2t peppermint essence)

1 T lecithin, ground in coffee grinder

1 T spirulina

2 T glutamine powder

2 T maca

shakes of cinnamon, ginger, cayenne

1 c coconut flour

3/4 c cacao nibs

2 T ground chia seeds

1 c ground filberts

Melt the coconut oil and add the other ingredients in the order specified, stirring well after each addition. If the mixture is still oil-heavy at this point, add some more dry ingredients, which could be more coconut flour or some pulp from making nut milk.

Pour the whole thing out onto a shallow tray and refrigerate or freeze until set, then cut or break into desired sizes. 

Oh, this is so yummy! It's green and minty and crunchy and just so good!

A few notes on the ingredients: 

Glutamine is a non-essential amino acid that is considered crucial for rebuilding the small intestine. It has also been clinically shown to help reduce cravings.

Ground chia seeds: I always add some flax or chia to my energy bar/ball/bark recipes, to help balance the omega 3:6 ratio of the whole. I talk about this ratio and how important it is in my article for 'Eighty Percent Raw' Magazine for the month of May.

Lecithin: is an emulsifier, which means that it helps things to bind together and also helps with digestion of fats. It's an important source of choline, an essential b-vitamin. Non-soy-based lecithins are starting to be available: out of my reach for the moment but I make sure to get non-GMO organic soy lecithin.

I can talk about maca and spirulina sometime if there's interest, but I think most folks know the buzz about them… Ok, a few words!  Maca the Andean adaptogen, the brassica-family pioneer of harsh environments, said to be a godsend for thyroid problems (guess I should eat more of it): I have a tray of maca starts up here: we'll see how they do! Delicious subtle malty flavor.

Spirulina the wonderfully protein-rich, easily cultured alga loaded with beta carotene and b-vitamins, as well as magnesium-rich, life-giving chlorophyll. I was just remembering today an experience years ago of having depression lift almost instantly after eating some spirulina. And it's green and makes this treat look yummy and minty!

The View From Here/Up For This Week

The View From Here

There is more green here every day: soon the new grass will have outstripped all the tired old brown grass buried in the darkness of snow all those months.

The sandhill cranes arrived last week and fly through the dawn and dusktime skies emitting their ineffably haunting calls. There are more gulls every day, so elegant as they ride the air currents. The eagles are mating - our haughty, imperious grandees billing and cooing and chasing. This morning, we saw a lone trumpeter swan flying north. Very rare to see a lone swan, we wondered what befell its fellow.

The view from inside of me: it's as though I'm being forced, age 33, to learn the lessons of old age and acceptance of loss of faculties. I am still exhausted from the journey/sleepless night/accident, and weak. Everything I take on is too much. This morning, I set out to make two kinds of energy bars each for myself and Phil, as well as bread for Phil, and was completely exhausted by about two-thirds through. But that is how I ordinarily cook! If I'm going to make stuff, I might as well multitask and make a bunch, get into my groove, dance around the kitchen… I don't even know how to do it differently! And my memory is suddenly less good too. 

Up For This Week

Watch out for the May edition of Eighty Percent Raw Magazine coming out May 1st! I have an article in there on how to enjoy peanuts responsibly. I've also just sent in the second part of a two-part blog post on the 80-10-10 diet.

Phil is heading off tomorrow for the first camping trip of the year, bearhunting, clamming, etc, and I'm not going with him. Even if I didn't have bees to take care of and mercury removals, I simply don't have the energy to go for three days boating/hiking/camping frozen nights. Sobering and chastening just begin to get it.

Of course, I hope he'll have a wonderful time and look forward to hearing his tales of adventure.

I'm disappointed that I didn't write all the blog posts that  I had intended to write last week, but fully intend to make a better fist of things this week (and forgive myself: last week was hard enough without recriminations).

So, this week I will share my 'alternate fudge' recipe that I'd promised last week. They're really more 'bark' than fudge - I'm not even sure what the right name for them is. Melted coconut oil with stevia and spices and crunchy yummy things in it…

And surely a 'wordstalk' this week. I'd like to write some 'writing-oriented' things also, and, since I seem to be in a losing battle with the food demons currently, perhaps a little about that too.

'What Was I Thinking?' Ending In Tears - A Blessing No one Was Hurt

[Written last night]

Before I left town, I asked myself out loud on here what I was thinking volunteering myself for an all-nighter in my current weak state, especially with a mercury removal as the immediate sequel. It turns out that it was the right question to ask. To be honest, I really believed that even though I have been having such depth of fatigue, with my customary grit and determination I would be able to pull off a performance exceptional for my current abilities, to borrow from myself to help everyone out, with just a little stimulation and intention.

It was going so well, too. Getting the bees released from the cargo area took a long time, during which I got to know another really cool beekeeper from the Anchorage area, and both of us fielded all kinds of questions about bees from the cargo staff, who were fascinated and excited: there was definitely a 'buzz' when the two huge carts full of bee packages were wheeled out! I got very cold during that time, and kept the truck chilly, so as to keep myself awake. I left the airport, and the three local folks still hard at work, unpacking bees, around 2.30am.

[No internet time right now, but I will update with a couple photos I took.]

My eyes were peeled for moose. I negotiated miles of heavy rain, and then some miles of thick fog over the mountains. I successfully delivered two packages to people further north on the peninsula who waited for me in their trucks. The bees were in good shape. I made Soldotna (72 miles north of Homer) around 6am: driving through the inexorably gloaming dawn for the previous hour, despite the extreme moose hazard and having to hit myself to keep from getting sleepier, was an almost mystically beautiful experience, with snowbanks receding, the purple of naked alders everywhere, willows rearing up blooms sticky with pollen (just right for my passengers); stands of scrubby spruces in swampy lowlands with the ice mostly melted out.

6am and indubitably light, and back on relatively familiar turf - I really felt like the most difficult part of the journey had been successfully negotiated and was looking forward to getting home around 8 and having a comfortable cushion before my 10am dentist appointment. I walked around and stretched legs, got a cup of hot rooibos tea, and continued my slow and steady progress homewards.

Nemesis for Hubris?

Well, maybe that sense of confidence was hubris? But there's no doubt that driving in daylight is so much easier… A few miles further on, I encountered some more heavy rain, which was falling as sleet after a couple of minutes, and then within a mile I was in a blizzard! Springtime in Alaska: one of the major challenges of driving here, especially in spring and fall is the suddenness of weather changes.

I was so grateful for the hours spent practicing ice-driving on Beluga Lake this winter: I was in two-wheel drive and our truck is light in the back (read 'skid-prone'). In the moment that I was thinking I should look for somewhere to pull over to click my hubs for 4-wheel drive, the most awful thing happened. The truck skidded badly enough that I lost control, swerved into the oncoming lane (there's only one lane in each direction this section of the highway), headed for the ditch. I had been going pretty slow and  managed to wrest control back and was almost completely back on my side of the road. But for an unfortunate piece of timing (the fact that it could have been timed even worse for maximum carnage is salutary to remember), someone else was coming the other way! His front driver's side collided with my driver's side rear end just as I was getting myself straight. So, knocked perpendicular to the highway, I ran up the steep bank off the road, propelled by the force of the collision.

Somehow I managed not to turn the truck over, to steer it along this steep bank, even to avoid the pole sticking up out of the bank that was right in my way, and to get it back onto the road.

(In all the trauma and disaster feeling of the whole experience, I can't help but feel a certain admiration for how I handled the vehicle: I don't know how I did it, but it certainly made the best possible out of the situation.)

Of course, I was so worried about the bees, and shocked and traumatized and horrified, and full of recriminations at having had it happen. But only one of the ten bee packages was ruptured (and the bees just clustered around the queen on the outside, as they do). They were a little disturbed, what with the whole truck bed having been canted right and all the glass on the left of the canopy being shattered, but I fed them some honey water and snugged a tarp around them, and they were fine. It turned out that the other car had a lot of bodywork damage on the front driver's side: it looked really bad! But he wasn't hurt, and was really nice about it. We waited for two hours out there in the snow, talking to the trooper who finally arrived and getting everything sorted out. Phil and his daughter's fiance drove  up and brought me and the truck home: Phil called me not ten minutes after it happened, waking up suddenly anxious about me. What a blessing to be supported like that, and I was shaken enough to be glad not to drive more. 

Tearstained Blessings

Not surprisingly after that, on top of mercury removals and lack of sleep, my fatigue reaches a whole new level. It's hours  since I last cried about it, but I still look like I've been crying! I was taking a big risk, and taking on a responsibility, and it ended in tears. The message that I am not 'up to' pulling off something 'over and above' like that at the moment was so painful to me: the idea that I can't take on responsibilities… It's a notorious stretch of road: averages 50 accidents every winter. Was it nemesis for my hubris?

But really, horrible though it was, I have to look at the blessings. No one was hurt. The bees were fine, and they didn't get too cold with all the waiting around either, as I was worrying they would. Damage to both vehicles was extensive, but involved bodywork and not vital engine parts.

My sweet, wonderful husband came to my rescue, and was so helpful throughout the day getting me to my appointments and helping get the bees to their owners. And down in Homer, it was a gorgeous, sunny day! It seemed almost other-worldly to relate that I'd gotten in an accident in a blizzard that morning.

(Update Today)

Today, just got through hiving the bees. They have the runs! I've never been shat on by bees so much before. I hope they'll be ok - not surprising that they have travelers' diarrhea after such a traumatic journey but hopefully they'll be ok now that they have a good home. Beautifully sunny here again today.

I'm toast and we have to be somewhere else. Soon more.

Crazy All-Nighter and Product Review From the Road - Personal Water Filter

What am I Thinking?

Greetings from Anchorage! The springtime weather pattern, whereby the vibration that one normally associates with noon finally kicks in around 6 or 7pm, seems to be coming into operation, with the back-kick that it is getting so light in the mornings that it's hard not to wake all the way up around 5am with that exciting feeling of the sap rising. 

Fatigue still keeps my life-experience fascinatingly psychedelic and occasionally fugal, and what am I thinking driving through the night tonight? The beekeeper who picked up the huge shipment of colonies for beekeepers all over south-central Alaska has had one boondoggle after another down on the West Coast, and will finally make it up from Portland at midnight tonight (instead of yesterday). So, since I'd already come up to town, I said I'd hang around and pick up the bees for our end of the highway tonight. Have a mercury removal to get back for tomorrow morning.

What am I thinking? I'm thinking raw cacao, peppermint, guarana/kola nut capsules, bee pollen, and possibly even resorting to some green tea! My adrenals can't really afford it at the moment: that kind of 'jump start' is short-lived in its effect these days, and I pay back with interest. But I will need to be alert for those moose in the dark, who think that they can barge into anything with impunity owing to their bulk.

Personal Water Filter

The other thing I'm thinking is a nap if at all possible this evening, and lots of water. And that's one of the things I was thinking about when I mentioned products that, despite their being 'stuff,' feel somewhat life-enhancing to me. We're active and we move around a lot, go out in town and also out in the wilderness. I've been wanting a portable water filter for both those purposes, because I really cannot drink the chlorinated water that comes out of those ubiquitous drinking fountains - but if I had a way to filter it, then I wouldn't be having to carry gallons of water around. There have been a few times both in town and in wilderness that I've been caught with inadequate water and really suffered for it.

After doing a lot of research, I ended up buying the Sport Berkey personal filter through Amazon. Back in Hawaii, where most folks were on catchment water (with risk of leptospirosis, giardia and possibly worse), the Big Berkey was the filter of choice, so I knew that this was a good name. It claims to be good for about 640 uses on city water and about 150 uses with wilderness water.

Since receiving it, I've been better hydrated when out and about! The filter doesn't add a lot of weight to the bottle (which is sometimes a problem) and although it doesn't produce the most delicious water I've ever tasted, it's definitely drinkable and doesn't taste of chlorine. The bottle doesn't hold an enormous amount, so I imagine that in the wilderness I'd carry a half-gallon water pouch for untreated water and pour in as necessary. 

My one concern is with the bottle itself. Generally, I avoid plastic as much as the next health-conscious person (within the limitations of being on the go in situations where broken glass would be inconvenient). This bottle is a plastic that is soft enough to be squeezable. I don't detect any plastic taste; however, I wonder whether my recollecting of the stainless steel Big Berkey as an imperative to trust that they know what they're doing is misleading.

Another thing that I should say is that the functionality is a matter of taste. You flip up the top (which doesn't leak) and a funny little wiggly drinking straw pops up at you, which connects to the filter. You suck through this and up comes your water. I like this just fine, it works great for me. But I had Phil try it and he didn't like it - said it was too slow for him. I'm a sipper, he's a gulper, so the value to you of my recommendation may rest somewhat on whether or not you fall into the same category as I do! 

Yes, I am grateful for this...