'Size Blind?' and Raw 'Pad Thai' Slaw

Well, happy Friday with a holiday! I hope that my previous 'recipe that wasn't' post didn't seem like too much of a cop-out (wait--is that a stray Britishism?) Today, I do have a recipe to share, and I did put some of that jicama in.

 I'll get to that in a moment. First, I want to talk about a very uncomfortable conversation I had with Phil yesterday, partly as a confession of my stupidity for initiating a potentially triggering conversation in the first place, partly to illustrate how words can evoke staggeringly different images in different people, and partly to explore the concept that a person really could be 'size blind'--could walk around looking at people without constantly tickering about relative sizes: a revolutionary concept in my little head.

Phil and I had had an interaction with a woman we hadn't met before. I noticed how her bottom came out in a pleasing round curve below her belt. I'd also, of course, meticulously calibrated that this person was built and proportioned on a significantly larger scale than myself, so I wasn't thinking of myself at all, merely curious, when I asked Phil later on whether she would be considered to have a 'nice butt.' Phil said yes, she would and, after a moment, said, "Actually, not unlike yours." Shocked and horrified, I qualified "But way bigger than mine, right?" "I don't know, I didn't notice her size," was Phil's response.

Obviously, I was traumatized and devastated and felt betrayed and all the other over-the-top responses. I was also furious with myself for laying myself open to a comparison that I found unbearable, even though that hadn't been my intention. Thankfully, I managed to pull myself out of a huge downward self-image spiral by checking in with myself and remembering that I could trust my own evaluation of our respective sizes.

When we were able to talk about it, Phil said he'd thought he was paying me a compliment. She had a nice butt, so did I: that's all there was to it. And he insisted that he doesn't notice people's different sizes and that that simply wasn't part of his comparison. Rather than try to catch him in a lie by recalling times when he has commented on people's sizes, I tried to imagine how that could be. Could it really be possible to walk around and just see people as people, see beauty as beauty, without constantly labeling 'big,' 'average,' 'small' and, specifically 'bigger than me,' 'smaller (horrors!) than me'? I realize that I allow that kind of keeping track to seep into all my experiences, unconsciously, and almost always, it reinforces my feeling badly about my body.

The truth is, I'm doing so much exercise and becoming so much stronger, and it's a gift to be able to do things that I want to do!

Whew--thanks for bearing with me on that!

On to something lighter--I was talking last time about how frequently my recipe ideas don't come to be. But sometimes, I just have to make something! I wanted to make a pad thai-type salad, light, spicy and wonderfully textured, with some kelp noodles...

...that jicama, some carrots, some early greens from our garden. Here's how it looked undressed.

I ended up using the whole 12oz package of kelp noodles because I made so much dressing.  I soaked the noodles in warm water for a few minutes before mixing them with the veggies.

Otherwise, there was:

2 julienned carrots

about half a medium jicama, julienned

3 cups mixed greens, coarsely chiffonaded

some snipped chives 

5-6 basil leaves (from our windowsill), chiffonaded

One chopped roma tomato.

For the dressing,
3/4 cup of water (or coconut water, or pickle juice, or...--I used a lot of lime juice, and it was too much with the tamarind)
a thumb-sized piece of tamarind paste
1 tablespoon miso
2 small cloves garlic
a half-inch piece of ginger
1 teaspoon curry powder
1 tablespoon red thai curry paste
2 tablespoons coconut kefir cream (homemade, can sub any raw nut-based (or other) sour cream)
1 tablespoon tahini
1/2 cup mango
a quarter of an avocado

Blend and taste, adjust seasonings (tamarind is quite sour, and depending on how sweet your mango is, you might need to add a date or a pinch of stevia).

Mix into the 'slaw. I was taking this for our weekly dinner date with Phil's daughter and her partner, and it was great that it had some time to sit (and ride in the truck) before being eaten: the texture of the kelp noodles softened up and was just wonderful.

I had some sea spaghetti courtesy of Joanna ready to go in there too...

 ...but I figured that what I was offering was weird enough to their palates and experience without such a blatantly ocean-tasting component, so I left it out of the main bowl and added it to the leftovers I ate the next day. I figured it was a good sign that there wasn't a great deal left over! It was so yummy, even if it was an 'unusual' thing for Phil and the rest of them. Thanks for bearing with me, guys! It's a very different world here from back when I used to go to raw food potlucks all the time, and pretty much any weird thing I came up with would taste great to most, and everybody would at least be willing to try. Macaroni salad this wasn't! Cole slaw this wasn't!

If you like the ocean taste, by all means add it to this: It's a different flavor and texture, but it's really good in its own way.
Coming up next, it's the time of the rhubarb!

I've been playing around and trying a few things out that I'd like to share soon.

I hope you try the 'Slaw and enjoy it. Can we be 'size blind'?