"50 First Weeks:" Seeking Algorithms, Finding Change (And Eagle Pics)

It's Monday again, so once again, I invoke "50 First Weeks." A mindfulness practice, always the opportunity to rekindle intentions. My ergonomics and housekeeping intentions continue to need rekindling, or something's going to catch fire from all the dust and spread-out notebooks! A busy week is in store--lectures to write and record, packet due, performance and rehearsals (on which more soon), excited brainstorm over an essay I'm writing, embarrassment of rough diamonds with my poetry offerings.

I'm feeling the lack of direct contact with my students, teaching through the web/veil like this. Only yesterday, when grading, did I discover how difficult everyone found last week's work! Pondering why that is and how to make it better is a good exercise in itself, but I also permit myself some pride that before lunchtime today I wrote, made slides for, edited, produced and published an entire extra lecture "to remedy the confusion."

I have a few more thoughts about the "50 First Weeks" frame of reference, but I have to interrupt it with this impromptu photoshoot (thanks to Phil) of an eagle in our yard, so close I practically fell over it when I inadvertently stepped outside!

The magpies are back--it's not clear to me that they ever left, but they were very quiet for a couple months, and now they're raucous and bold again. Would you believe me if I said that magpie was 2ft tall, in the picture for scale? That was Phil's joke...

Even at regular scale, the eagle is one huge bird...

They look so funny full frontal--the scary part is that that beak you can barely see is now pointed straight at you.

Of course, if one eagle was on the ground, he had probably found something good, so there was a mobile of eagles in the air, circling. He made sure to give them a good twittering, "Keep out!"

That eagle was in the yard for probably an hour. I was sitting here grading, constantly turning to see if it was still there, marveling.

As I renew focus with these "50 first weeks," I find myself torn between wanting an exact template--to know exactly what to do when, how much to eat and what, when to get up, when to exercise, to run with robotic perfection--and knowing with lively certainty that that kind of template would drive me crazy and that I wouldn't be able to help but tear it apart! It seems like food and diet are the most changeable areas for me, albeit revolving around such a small set of possibilities. It also seems like those are the areas in which I most desire micro-level control.

The part of me that wants to live on carrots at the moment has been embracing carrots, while simultaneously acknowledging that the day is probably drawing close that I won't be able to look at a carrot for a while (and organic carrots are one of the few reliably good cheap foods here, so I hate the idea of them not being a staple).

Slightly more worrisome: the part of me that loves to write about food is currently jaded and disillusioned. This is partly because almost nothing tastes good in the sense of "good" that I appreciate right now, and what does taste good doesn't feel good. Apart from hot no-caffeine home-brewed chai maybe. There have been other periods in my life where I basically didn't fix any food for myself beyond the occasional smoothie, and still derived much pleasure from creating foods for others and writing about it. I seem to be in one of those times right now, although, busy as I am, I'm not even enjoying the creating for others as much as usual.

I have some more thoughts on that "good in the sense of "good" that I appreciate" line that I want to share here. If I do manage to concoct something shareable in a Wednesday post for Valentine's tomorrow, I'll talk about what makes food "good" on Friday.

Love and happy Valentine's--a new week again!