Breaking through the Chrysalis--or Having your Hike and Writing it Too

In the current version of my body, space and scheduling are precious and it's easy to get too much physical activity. I know that this is simply a 'current version,' and look forward to being able to hike plentifully this spring and summer. However, too much hiking means I'm brain-dead in the evening (and next day), and can't write. And if I don't write, I'm like the unmilked cow, all bloated and cranky, and my routine and schedule slip. But if I don't hike, I don't get to see beautiful back-country places like these.

Sometimes, days go by and what doesn't happen is my approaching the realization of my desires to be the highest and best expression of myself. In one sense, the universe is indifferent to this: it is large enough to absorb whole species of fallen sparrows and non-starters. But in another sense, since I am a part of the universe, my highest expression would enhance the universe too, and my hesitating on the threshold is depriving the universe as well as myself.

So, I say I'm ready, I feel the frustration and impatience of being ready to bloom but compressed in the bud or chrysalis, but I also sense layers of old habit and non-serving beliefs about not deserving, not being worthy as tight-folded carpels, chrysaline coats. It is always time to let these go. Now it is past time. I recognize that it's possible for them to disappear in a flash: simply to drop; I also recognize that it may take some vigilance to keep them gone. 

The week before last, I felt the readiness in action; I was Tapping, I was productive, I was excited. This past week, I saw the actions slip through the slipperiness of traveling and fatigue, and received an object lesson in the need for vigilance, that work is still to be done.

I want to be able to get out to places like this, to see the beautiful ice formations on water, with the creek flowing underneath, undisturbed, chilly.

This all seems to hark back to my questioning last year (almost exactly a year ago) of "what do I need my strength for?" In some ways, I'm still asking that question, but I feel that I have more pieces of the multifaceted answer.

How do I make sure I get to have my hike and write it too? There's a multi-frontal approach going on here. During the hike pictured above, I stopped when I was exhausted (and would still have to hike back--should probably have stopped sooner), invited my companions to drop their packs under my guardianship, and pulled out my notebook.

Additionally, while accepting that during the yeast cleanse I'm lower in energy and less movement feels good, there's a certain minimum of training that I won't let slide. Every morning, I'm still doing my Five Tibetans, eight times each, with extra spinning and crunches. It took so much work to build up to doing those eight times, especially the fifth one, which involves alternating upward and downward dog, so a push-up-type descent (the link above shows it). Last year, I had to lay on the ground catching my breath for several minutes between each iteration of that: my current ability to do eight of them consecutively was hard-won. And I know that hard as it was to 'win,' it will be much easier to lose. If I miss a single day, it's much harder the next day. So, no matter how late I feel like I'm running, if the sun has already risen, if I'm hungry, if we stayed in bed snuggling a bit too long, I do those first. And I know that keeping this baseline will allow huge gains in energy when my body isn't busy cleansing yeasties.

Do you get to hike and write it too? What's your minimum that you won't renege on?