Sunday, April 22, 2012

Remembering--on the Shirt and Under the Shirt

To forget is human. Nowadays, we're bombarded with information, we're overworked, we geek out on the minutiae of chemical processes in our brains and guts never even imagined a century ago. We forget to eat, to sleep, to take medications, to bathe--to take care of ourselves. Formerly, every community had a "remembrancer," whose job was to be the repository of collective knowledge and information, history, explanations. And people remembered to take care of their own basic needs. Nowadays, we all try to remember everything about everything, and forget routine maintenance. Or, I guess some people use their iPhones as remembrancers! Around here, I'm the phone directory--no iPhones in sight!


With the end of semester dash, I've been confining my posts to the prompts and not talking about much else--tomorrow is a "free day," so I'll share some more personal or recipe stuff then. But today's prompt is about forgetting and remembering, inspired by the Singapore-based blog Things We Forget, which features sticky notes placed in public places, conveying positive messages.


I do have sticky notes around the place--one from my Naturopath reminding me to take my meds--I'm not quite brave enough to post that one here...Goal-setting notes, writerly advice, notes from other writers... But yesterday, Phil was walking around with a wonderful positive message on his own person:
I'll give the close-up of the message in a moment, but let me just dwell on the messenger for a moment. Our friend David sent Phil this shirt, saying that it was obviously meant for Phil. Phil is so giving, so upbeat, so focused on the positive and how to turn any situation, however tangentially he's involved in it, toward the positive.
I know my current trajectory has not been joyous for Phil. I've been able to spend less time with him. I've been under a lot of stress, and have had more psychotic moments than anyone would choose. Since we live together, he's most likely to end up in the firing line at those times. He doesn't believe I have the superpowers I believe I have, so we're inhabiting different universes in that respect. He thinks my current situation is more worrisome than I do--I think it's just some local difficulty. Have I been forgetting about Phil? Is this note on his shirt not just a reminder about joy and its passage, but also a reminder to value, cherish, treasure the wonderful human being underneath?


And it all goes back to the 'sticky note' I've featured on here several times before--
This note is right in my space, pinned to the frame between two windows. Of course, I often look through the windows rather than at that in-between space. Sometimes I look straight through the note too, with a feeling of hopelessness.  But it's always worth asking.


One other message worth reiterating,

THIS TOO
                                          SHALL PASS

Sorry I can't do any better with the graphic/background! But whatever we're enmeshed in, no matter how stuck we feel, motion and change are the constants. A question worth asking is whether we're willing to drive the change or prefer to be driven by the inexorable current.
What would YOUR best reminder be?

8 comments:

  1. Good post, Ela. Writing is a neurotic pursuit, but somehow, I think it's also strengthening.

    My reminder: Keep writing. No matter what.

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    1. Thanks, Meagan! Oh yes, without writing, I'd be a puddle on the floor!

      I love your reminder--it's a given, and yet it's totally worth putting it up there.
      love
      Ela

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  2. Nice wordsing! Yes, quite the opposite. And mine are virtual stickies. i have stickies for work but not much else. I have a friend who will not touch a sticky of any kind. She also won't touch something that has had a sticky on it. We worked together in the library. I don't know why, but your post reminded me of her. I think it was the reference to the public displaying of post-its. She would be appalled. She would have a hard time getting around. It's not a joke. It's serious. Anyway, you are a serious words-girl. Nice.

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    1. Meredith, so funny about your sticky-phobic friend! I used to have virtual stickies all over my mac desktop, but seem to have lost that habit. But I like reminders about doing my best and about advice for writers/motivation for creativity, and my Naturopath gave me that reminder because he thought it would help to have it somewhere prominent, save me from my worse self...
      love
      Ela

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  3. Love pHil's shirt. Sweet message. It's hard when the spouses/partners/etc get caught up in our own battles. I have similar issues. I get frenetic then I have to tell Chris it's not personal, just my own issues. I am glad Phil cares about you though. Try not to push him away.

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    1. Thanks, bitt. Yes, that shirt is perfect for Phil. I know you relate to the spousal issues--I wish there was some sort of forum where Phil could get specific help/support for going through it. My therapist and ND give him some support, but really they're "my" team, so there's only so much they can do for him.
      And yes on trying not to push him away--that's awesome advice worth reiterating.
      love
      Ela

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  4. Your mention of the "remembrancer" reminds me of the book The Giver, by Lois Lowry. It's a kids' novel, but an excellent one. Have you read it?

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    1. Amber, I haven't read that one, no--but I remember reading another novel or two by Lowry when I was a little kid and loving them. Maybe I should look that one out.
      love
      Ela

      Delete

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